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#656059 05/18/21 11:16 AM
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Seems to this oldster just starting out, that there are lots of upsides to ageing; you get more time if you`re lucky for creativity, idiosyncrasies are forgivable, you are hopefully a little streetwiser...that`s a song I might write, and will be more cheerful than this, which was written partly in a dream.

Song of the Old


Style is _PEACE.STY (Peacefully Stringed Ballad)

RealTracks in style: ~2482:Bass, Acoustic, Bowed Held Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2820:Harp, Rhythm ClassicalSlow8ths Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 2870:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CelticAirDave Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2335:String Quartet, Rhythm PopHall Ev 085
RT3267 cello RT 1856 cello



Song of the Old


will you write the song of the old
the way it really is
the innocence of a shy melody
the awkwardness of silences
it hurts too much to behold
will you write the song of the old

I dreamt you had fallen
you couldn`t stand
strangers taking
the ship you made with your hands

will you write the song of a child
the way it really is
with so many wise almost words
sung in uncertain voices
by a rhyme the heart is beguiled
will you write the song of a child

seeing you now
through curtains of then
floating your boat for beginnings
shaking a stick at the end
only a child can write the song of the old

will you write the song of the old
the way it really is
the way it really is


© Robert Cordrey April 2020

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Robert,
beautiful harmonies!
Deep subject. Poetry and delivery are amazing!

"seeing you now
through curtains of then"

"only a child can write the song of the old"

Excellent!

Very good mix. A nice step back, an "exhale" from more complex and busy compositions.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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Robert, this is wonderful!

Man, that vocal ... so vulnerable! Great job on the harmonies too.

I like your instrument choices, and the mix sounds great through the 'phones.

Enjoyed my listens!

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Robert,

Complex and beautiful...

A stunning song and vocal. You are one of my favorites here on the forum.

Love the track selection as well - perfectly frames the song.

"I dreamt you had fallen
you couldn`t stand
strangers taking
the ship you made with your hands"

Outstanding lyrics...

Bob

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Sometimes when you write a Song of the Old, your are unwittingly writing a Song of the New.

The delicacy of this delivery is no exception.


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Robert,

Really enjoyed this.

Nice write.

"with so many wise almost words
sung in uncertain voices"

"by a rhyme the heart is beguiled
will you write the song of a child"

...my favorite lines.

Excellent production. The tracks carry the song perfectly.

Your vocal is a delight. Smooth, comfortable (an important quality), heartfelt. And excellent harmonies.

Really well done.

fj

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Very nice Robert the cello and piano sound very nice together. Excellent vocal and harmonies. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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Oh WOW.

The lyrics. Your vibrato. The LYRICS. The music and the performance of it.

One of the very, very best songs I've ever heard on here, by far.

Still shaking.

Bravo, standing ovation, hats off. SUPERB song.

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I was quite happy with the song right from the beginning, then WOW those harmonies grabbed the proverbial ladder and brought it to magical heights, Robert. Outstanding vocals and a brilliant song idea. I also like the one you suggested about the upside of aging.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Robert,
beautiful harmonies!
Deep subject. Poetry and delivery are amazing!

"seeing you now
through curtains of then"

"only a child can write the song of the old"

Excellent!

Very good mix. A nice step back, an "exhale" from more complex and busy compositions.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.



Misha,
Very kind comments- thank you!


Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Robert, this is wonderful!

Man, that vocal ... so vulnerable! Great job on the harmonies too.

I like your instrument choices, and the mix sounds great through the 'phones.

Enjoyed my listens!


Thanks Dave,
I appreciate your comments- especially on the vocal as I recorded in other keys before
settling on this version.

Originally Posted By: rsdean
Robert,

Complex and beautiful...

A stunning song and vocal. You are one of my favorites here on the forum.

Love the track selection as well - perfectly frames the song.

"I dreamt you had fallen
you couldn`t stand
strangers taking
the ship you made with your hands"

Outstanding lyrics...

Bob


Bob,
Having sat on this one for several years trying to get the chorus melody & harmonies right its very encouraging to read such supportive comments; thank you!

Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
Sometimes when you write a Song of the Old, your are unwittingly writing a Song of the New.

The delicacy of this delivery is no exception.



I appreciate your listen and positive thoughts.


Robert

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This is beautiful Robert.

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Hi Robertkc,

Very soft song from your lyrics as well as from your very soft musical accompaniment. The second voice is very well placed. The quarted strings works wonderfully.Well done.I appreciated.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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My heart was beguiled by this one. Beautiful work, Robert.
Regards,
Leon

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The arrangement holds your voice at its center really well.
Sensitive lyric, sensitive rendition, sensitive topic - all done really well.
There's a little proximity effect on the vocal in spots but that's to be expected for such an intimate vocal.


Cheers
rayc
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A very bitter-sweet song. Lovely vocals. You found a beautiful melody. Nice music by the band. I like it.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
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Starting with cello and piano hooks me in, and you're pleading lyrics match your voice. Nice harmonies! This shift to the minor chord works nicely, and the strings in the background is very cool. The voice and cello weave together, with the strings giving a lift.

Soft and sad. Nice write as well! laugh


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Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Hi Robert,

This is truly splendid listening.

I love the ambience you create with your backing and your singing. I'm just trying to think of how to describe the effect you had on me but I can't. Words that popped into my mind included: wonderful, mystical, nostalgic, reminiscing, haunting, fragile, tender. Maybe these words are sufficient to give you some insight into the impact your song had on me. I hope so.

I really loved the harmonies.

You've made something very special here.

All the best,
Noel


MY SONGS...
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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Robert,

Really enjoyed this.

Nice write.

"with so many wise almost words
sung in uncertain voices"

"by a rhyme the heart is beguiled
will you write the song of a child"

...my favorite lines.

Excellent production. The tracks carry the song perfectly.

Your vocal is a delight. Smooth, comfortable (an important quality), heartfelt. And excellent harmonies.

Really well done.

fj


Really appreciate that, Floyd; I dithered on the vocal for a while, wondering if it conveyed too much emotion, so its good to read your endorsement.



Originally Posted By: Scott C
Very nice Robert the cello and piano sound very nice together. Excellent vocal and harmonies. Well done


Thanks Buddy!

Originally Posted By: musician17
Oh WOW.

The lyrics. Your vibrato. The LYRICS. The music and the performance of it.

One of the very, very best songs I've ever heard on here, by far.

Still shaking.

Bravo, standing ovation, hats off. SUPERB song.





James,
You have been extremely generous in your appreciation once again...maybe we all need at least one listener to "get" the feeling our songs are intended to convey in order to keep going at the craft; thank you very much;your comments mean a great deal to me.



Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
I was quite happy with the song right from the beginning, then WOW those harmonies grabbed the proverbial ladder and brought it to magical heights, Robert. Outstanding vocals and a brilliant song idea. I also like the one you suggested about the upside of aging.


Marty,
Thanks! I`ll keep my notes on that "upsides of ageing" song and see what happens.

Originally Posted By: David Snyder

This is beautiful Robert.


Thank you for listening David.

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Dear 'Robertkc'...

Imaginatively observed narrative, wistful in feeling and tone, sensitively and warmly orchestrated, and sung as though each word of the lyrics were composed one day at a time throughout the long, eventful life of the song's subject.

Last edited by bluage; 05/23/21 08:36 AM.

"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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"seeing you now
through curtains of then
floating your boat for beginnings
shaking a stick at the end
only a child can write the song of the old"

The entire package is very poignant but the above really sums it up. Your tender vocal, the harmonies, the cello and piano all work so well together to create this all too "real life" imagery.

"by a rhyme the heart is beguiled"

That line is powerful and so true and you are a great poet indeed!

Excellent!

J&B

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