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#662250 - 06/28/21 05:20 PM [User Showcase] The Skies Burn
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
The Skies Burn

I wrote this song over a year ago...had my daughter in mind. I went through a couple different keys and instrumentation until I came up with this.

Band:
RT2336 Viola
RT3733 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm GrungeRockArp
RT691 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming AcRockBright
RT2585 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PunkHeldPlus
RT3458 Bass, Electric, AmericanaPop
Some guitar loops
Drums are loops from DOD Indie Pop



What will I leave you, my child
I’ve struggled for my life
I will leave you my faith and prayers

The skies burn
The waters rise
Can no one discern
The deceiver is wearing no disguise

What can I give you, my child
You always have my heart
I can give you my memories

The skies burn
The waters rise
Can no one discern
The deceiver is wearing no disguise

What have I taught you, my child
From watching what I do
Clothe, feed, and love all those who need

The skies burn
The waters rise
Can no one discern
The deceiver is wearing no disguise

What can I leave you, my child?

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#662257 - 06/28/21 05:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Denmark
Very good composition and mix and excellent choice of instruments. It all fits very well together.

The lyrics are great and hit that sweet spot between being sad or optimistic... you have such a great talent for doing this!

Will

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#662259 - 06/28/21 05:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4811
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4811
Loc: Sydney Australia
Scott

Lovely work, enjoyed the production.

Excellent vocal and nice choice of the viola, added even more gravity to the song.

Liked the lyric, powerful.

Great song.

Peter

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#662268 - 06/28/21 06:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 6636
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 6636
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Loved this song. Excellent lyric. As always just an excellent vocal. Acoustic framed the vocal perfectly. Well done

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#662276 - 06/28/21 08:15 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
I agree with the others posters - nice arrangement, and the viola really works well here.

Nice harmonies at the end!
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#662280 - 06/28/21 08:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/06/19
Posts: 135
jamestoffee Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 12/06/19
Posts: 135
Nice contrast between the vs and ch. Great vocal delivery and balance on the arrangement.

Thanks for sharing.

James

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#662289 - 06/29/21 01:07 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1660
Loc: Germany
Crossroads Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1660
Loc: Germany
Hi Scott,

this is a really, really good one!!!.

A great and meaningful write, a beautiful composition (oh, love that exciting contrast between the verses and the choruses, a tasteful backing track, ace vocals and a clear mix.

Love it !

Stay safe,

Stefan

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#662298 - 06/29/21 02:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4344
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4344
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Really good, Scott!

Excellent vocal throughout. Love the chorus, very strong, also the viola really works.

One of your best, enjoyed!

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#662301 - 06/29/21 02:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5152
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5152
Loc: New York
Scott,

This is excellent - mysterious and haunting...

Love the track mix and your vocal. A great recorded piece of music.

Loved it.

Bob

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#662315 - 06/29/21 05:47 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1915
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
BabuMusic Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1915
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
Beautiful message to your daughter, Ezekiel. Heck, it's the perfect message for each generation to pass to the next. Great dynamics in the song, too. You already know I believe your voice can do no wrong, and I'm right.
_________________________
Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

Babu Music on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLDrsXTXfShgnGalQZ0ElQw
Me on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub

My website: http://martystraub.com/

using Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 9

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#662410 - 06/29/21 07:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 621
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 621
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Hi Scott. A strong write and really well sung, as usual. Excellent instrumental choices. Hard not to be concerned for the next generation, but I guess every generation feels that way.
Regards,
Leon

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#662504 - 06/30/21 12:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10200
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10200
Loc: Florida
Scott,

Nice write. The whole thing has a terrific indie-theatre-Rock feel.

Excellent vocals and harmonies.

Outstanding BAND! And an excellent mix.

Good job all around.

fj

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#662539 - 06/30/21 03:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
Will, Peter, Scott, David C., James, Stefan, Dave, Bob, Mary, Leon, and Floyd:

Thank you for listening to my track and taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate it muchly much! grin

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#662562 - 06/30/21 08:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 1193
Loc: Washington State
bluage Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 1193
Loc: Washington State
'Ezekiel's Storm'...

To my senses, your song seems to exist on two levels of feelings: the desire to gift a child with something from that part of the giver's existence that is (hopefully) eternal and useful. And then, there seems to me to be an expression of doubt, or insecurity, perhaps, and about what I am not sure. Nonetheless, the tension between the two levels of feeling is sharp, vivid, like light and darkness. I'm not sure I'm explaining myself in a way that you could appreciate, but I only want to convey my perception of a duality in your song that is...well, as haunting as it is reassuring. Your Real Track and third-party instruments meld perfectly into a musical whole that supports the lyrical conflict I perceived. The vocal harmony was mixed into the track so quietly that I was startled when I noticed it!

It's a production with a distinctive musical personality and an intriguing subtext. As Will Josef wrote in his comment, "The lyrics are great and hit that sweet spot between being sad or optimistic..."



Edited by bluage (06/30/21 08:23 PM)
_________________________
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".

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#662619 - 07/01/21 04:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: bluage]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
Bluage,

Thanks for your analysis. I do appreciate it. You're on the right track.

Scott

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#662630 - 07/01/21 05:21 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 17376
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 17376
Loc: Hamlin NY
I really like the dynamics in this one, very well done.

Super vocal and lyrics with great instrumentation. The mix is spot on.

Two thumbs up.
_________________________
You know you're in trouble when you leave a memory improvement class and can't remember where you parked your car!

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware

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#662656 - 07/02/21 02:46 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 1629
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 1629
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi Ezekiel,

Another beautiful song from your hand. I enjoyed it very much!
The melody is so nice and the way you sing this is very sensitive.

In all the sensitive words you used, I had to think about that one line the most: "Can no one discern the deceiver is wearing no disguise".
A beautiful sentence, with a lot of perspective in it. Like that!
I don't know if your daugter understands all of the lyrics (I presume she is still very young), but this sentence is very important to understand, I think.

But the nicest thing is that this song is about you.

Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

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#662666 - 07/02/21 04:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 4424
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 4424
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
A very sombre song - the world makes forward tinking almost painful at present.
Your vocal is really good...rich and well performed.
The punk held chord RealTrack isn't a great fit - (it has the aggression and sustain but it does sound like it's played through a pipe...it's not your mixing or production - I've tried to use it previously and just couldn't get it to fit), but it holds the place well enough.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe

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#662781 - 07/03/21 06:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Really nice anthemic rock vibe. That three-line verse is quirky but serves to push this forward. The lyrics are applicable to many of us and the delivery is earnest and heartfelt. I like the turn with the cello to cool things off a bit and reprised at the end. A reflective and uplifting work all round.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

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#662812 - 07/03/21 12:17 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Skies Burn [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 1009
Loc: Belgium
Derochette Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 1009
Loc: Belgium
Hi Ezekiel's Storm,

Nice use of realtracks. It's very pleasant, the lyrics sensitive. Your voice is impeccable. Everything is perfect. I appreciated.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash

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