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Hi everyone,

This is my new Dutch song, Ik hou mijn adem in, https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/ik-hou-mijn-adem-in

I was working on serious, 'heavy' lyrics, about war, destruction, greed and so on, but then got enough of that. Still I loved the melody, so kept that, skipped the lyrics and wrote a lovesong blush , well, kind of...

Writing in your native language isn't that easy. Even after I did a few Dutch songs it's still a complicated challenge. At least for me. i think of aspects like the language, the pronoucation and singing. It is not really my 'groove'. But that's why I make them occasionally.

I hope you like it, although you won't understand a word, I fear.
Therefore I included a translation. I'm not really convinced I used the correct words. If you have a better translation, let me know!
Beneath that you see the used instruments.
Let me know if you like it, or what I need to change, or whatever,

Edit: june 8: I changed the angle in the song, from 'her' to 'you'. I thought that was nicer. But a lot of work...

Hans

I'm holding my breath
(c) HWBerkhout, june 8,  NL/ Dutch

I walk down a long linden avenue
Bowed head, see no one standing
It is very hot today
I feel clammy and sweaty

I'm on my way to the cafe
just out of sentimentality
I hope to find something here
Preferably you, or beer again

Chorus
I'm shocked to see you
I hold my breath
Have you seen me too?
(Yes) I hold my breath

I can still see us as we were, then
Do you do this too, every now and then?
But then this came to an end
reducing 'Together' to 'Alone'

Chorus

=solo=

Chorus
I'm shocked when you see me
I hold my breath
Then you're shocked when see me staring
You hold your breath

But I liked a lot what I saw happening
I smile at you
You look at me inquisitively, then smile back
I breathe out...

======================================================
Style: GIDDY.STY, Key: Bm, tempo: 95 bpm

RealTracks in stijl: 903:Bass
RealTracks in song:2503:Piano, Ac.
RealTracks in stijl: 1581:Guitar, Ac
RealTracks in song: 3492:Guitar, Elec, Ska
RealTracks in song: 2535:Guitar, Elec
RealTracks in song: 685:Harmonica
RealTracks in song:3075: Fiddle
RealTracks in song:3247: Guitar, elec, solo
RealDrums: NashvilleSwing
Me: Vocals, bg vocals, keyboard (female vocals, Violin chops)



Last edited by Birchwood; 06/08/22 02:14 AM.

Hans Berkhout
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Hi Hans
Really good song
As always great background track
The harmonica at the beginning is awesome
I have translated your english translation into german again...
I don't think that was a good idea ;-)
But even if I don't understand the lyrics in the original I really like the song
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Hans

A nice brooding sounding piece. Excellent vocals and a nicely chosen band.

Well mixed and produced.

Peter

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Hans, I don't need to understand the lyrics to know a good song when I hear one and this song is an outstanding one!

An outstanding band backing an outstanding vocal

Super intro and break

Super harmonies

Loved it


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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Hans,
Sounds good in your native tongue! Solid composition and instrumental arrangement. Good vocals and catchy chorus. Listens well.

The only "critical" item I think.. drums in the beginning are a bit thin, but perhaps that is exactly how you wanted them.

Good song. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.

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Sounds great, Hans!

Love the harmonica in the intro, and really like that rhythm guitar you have panned left playing the off beats. Love the change at 2:13!

Didn't matter that I didn't understand the lyrics, it let me concentrate on your voice more like a lead instrument, and it sounded very good indeed.

Nice!

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I really like the idea of turning a tragic war song onto a reunited love song. Cool intro with the harmonica. I really like the beat you developed. That syncopated guitar on the left really added something special when it came in. Excellent choice of instrumentation. Very dynamic changes like when everything drops away for a couple acoustic strums. Those vocals are really really good, Hans. Heck, the whole song is really really good. You are such a good writer. Really.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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Hi Andi,

Thanks for your nice comment on the song. but I'm a bit dissapointed that a German couldn't understand Dutch...
How come? It were simple lyrics. After you listened I changed the subject in the song. Her became You.
So that is even more simple for our neighbours to hear what we have to say.

But of course I'm joking. My English translation was also bad. I thought Google was a help, but it's not! at least, not always.
So a bad translation in English makes it worse in German, I guess.

So, thanks again and also for being the first listener,
Hans


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Hi there Hans - nice song! I don't understand a word of Dutch so I'm sure glad you wrote the English translation. I thought it was a really clever idea and liked the way you tied the story together. Just listening to the overall project I thought it was a very pleasant sound, great mix and really liked your arrangements. I never expected that fiddle in the break and thought it sounded great. Thanks for sharing it.

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Hans,
Very well thought out band with some nice surprises in the production ( I was hoping to hear that intro harp again!) and excellent vocal.
Going with Dutch helped me to listen more closely to your voice; you`ve really nailed the processing here and sing with good energy.
Its an enjoyable song in any language!

Robert

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Hi, Hans !

What an outstanding tune !!
I especially like the back beat
- genial rhytm and the chord
progression as well as your
vocals are stunningly nice !

Cheers
Dani

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Hans

Every song you do sounds great! I don't understand the words but they still sound good! That chorus section has a powerful sound! Your mix sounds pro all the way! That guitar hitting on the off-beat in the left side of the stereo field really make the song pop! Your vocals and effects used in the latter part of the song are really effective!
Great work!

Thanks, Torrey




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Hi Peter, Mario, Misha and Dave,

Thanks so much for your comments on this Dutch song. I noticed that if you listen to it on, say, an Ipad you can read the lyrics too. This was changed by SoundCloud and I'm very happy with it. Have you seen it? with this song that is very handy, you can read the English lyrics too and then understand a bit of that harsh sounding language.

Oh, and I'm sorry Peter has listened to the first version of the song where I sing about 'her'. That's now 'you'.
I suddenly had that feeling I made a mistake. Better was to make this kind of song more personal. But it was some work to change it all.

Originally Posted By: PeterF
Hans
A nice brooding sounding piece. Excellent vocals and a nicely chosen band.
Well mixed and produced.
Peter


Hi Peter, as I said I changed the song, but not the composition. I doubt if you have heard these differences if you don't understand Dutch.
And thanks for your compliments. I had some doubts on the vocals, but that wasn't necessary so to read.

Originally Posted By: MarioD
Hans, I don't need to understand the lyrics to know a good song when I hear one and this song is an outstanding one!
An outstanding band backing an outstanding vocal
Super intro and break
Super harmonies
Loved it


Hi Mario, all I can reply is "Wow". Thanks for your so nice words!

Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Hans,
Sounds good in your native tongue! Solid composition and instrumental arrangement. Good vocals and catchy chorus. Listens well.
The only "critical" item I think.. drums in the beginning are a bit thin, but perhaps that is exactly how you wanted them.
Good song. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.


Hi Misha, to tell you the truth, it still doesn't feel comfortable for me to sing in my own language. So your compliments work very good for my selfesteem on this subject. About the drums: I thought they were dominating the song from the start, so lowered their volume for 30 seconds. And then I read what you said, so brought them back to their original volume. I listened to you, so to say...

Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Sounds great, Hans!
Love the harmonica in the intro, and really like that rhythm guitar you have panned left playing the off beats. Love the change at 2:13!
Didn't matter that I didn't understand the lyrics, it let me concentrate on your voice more like a lead instrument, and it sounded very good indeed.

Nice!


Hi Dave, thanks! I had a hard time letting the harmonica only play the first part. In the middle part I used a fiddle and liked it too, but at the end I used an electric solo guitar. I'm very glad you liked the vocals. They caused me some problems (see above).

Have a nice weekend all of you,
Hans


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Great song Hans, especially the chorus!
Lively!

Anne-Marie

(was ff druk. Rob deed van "Zingen met jou" de eindmix)


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
http://rnam.net/


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In the 1st verse the vocal seemed a little distant - like it was more reverb and "wet" & less "dry" through the reverb but I became used to it very quickly.
Your vocal sounds solid, confident and free from too much processing.
I didn't read the lyrics - preferring to listen to the sounds of the words - they sound good.
Terrific effort Hans, I enjoyed it.


Cheers
rayc
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Hans,

Always like listening to your stuff . . . even when I can’t understand a word of what you are saying (LOL!). Your vocal styling reminds me very much of Al Stewart. Translations are always tricky, but the write it solid. And, MAN, that instrumental break starting at 2:08, absolutely brilliant. I always find it hard to turn from a full band to a single instrument—as you did with the acoustic guitar at that point. It was seamless—very impressed!

Cheers!

Deej

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We agree with you on the melody - nice! The band is great too.

The dynamics are really good and the panning is very effective in your mix.
Added to the dynamics is open and airy feel. Hard to do with that many tracks.

It’s hard for us writing in one language so hats off to you for doing it in two. smile

Your native language fits with the band very well and your vocals are excellent as always. As Peter said, “a nice brooding sound” and a bit mysterious.

Well done and we enjoyed it!

J&B

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I love the pulsating groove. This is one good song! It doesn't matter if I don't understand the lyrics. The music is written well and the vocal performance is great. One of your best.

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Hi there Marty, Brad, Robert and Dani,

You gave so nice comments on the song. Thanks for that! Although, no one commented on the ducks holding their breath on the cover.
That is a bit a pitty. But it's far better to concentrate on what you said, instead of moaning about those ducks...

Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
I really like the idea of turning a tragic war song onto a reunited love song. Cool intro with the harmonica. I really like the beat you developed. That syncopated guitar on the left really added something special when it came in. Excellent choice of instrumentation. Very dynamic changes like when everything drops away for a couple acoustic strums. Those vocals are really really good, Hans. Heck, the whole song is really really good. You are such a good writer. Really.


Hi Marty, Yes I can understand you liked that idea, but I felt very bad about it. All those war text attempts ended up in the trash.
Finally the ducks stayed AND a nice song as well. Oh and I was so proud of what you said about me, I told my sons finally someone recognised my skills. They kept cynicall...
But I wanted words like 'Gouda' and 'Kaas' were in the song, but they didn't fit. I wanted that, because you convinced me you can pronounce them like a Dutchman!

Originally Posted By: Brad Williams
Hi there Hans - nice song! I don't understand a word of Dutch so I'm sure glad you wrote the English translation. I thought it was a really clever idea and liked the way you tied the story together. Just listening to the overall project I thought it was a very pleasant sound, great mix and really liked your arrangements. I never expected that fiddle in the break and thought it sounded great. Thanks for sharing it.


Hello Brad, I like what you wrote about the arrangement and the fiddle. It was a guess, but I like fiddles, violins, cello's and that kind of strings very much. I often have them in my songs. But in this song I decided to have 3 solo instruments on 3 spots (intro, middle, outro). No deep thoughts on this, I just liked the idea they all make their sound.

Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Hans,
Very well thought out band with some nice surprises in the production ( I was hoping to hear that intro harp again!) and excellent vocal.
Going with Dutch helped me to listen more closely to your voice; you`ve really nailed the processing here and sing with good energy.
Its an enjoyable song in any language!

Robert


Hi Robert, As I wrote to Brad (above) I liked the idea of having 3 different kinds of solo instruments in one song. And thanks for your compliments on the vocals. I had a lot of doubts on them. Singing in Dutch is not really my thing. It sobers you so. And normally my pronouncation is too neat, so I have to do my very best to make it sound more 'ordinary'. My wife and sons tell me that all the time. So I'm very happy with your (and other non Dutchies) comment on the vocals wink

Originally Posted By: dani48
Hi, Hans !

What an outstanding tune !!
I especially like the back beat
- genial rhytm and the chord
progression as well as your
vocals are stunningly nice !

Cheers
Dani


Hello Dani, well that was very nice of you to say! The tune was meant for a cynical song, but luckily I couldn't find the right words, then skipped it all and made a (kind of renewed) love song instead.

I hope you all will have a very nice day,
Hans


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Hans,

LOVE that opening. Man! those drums sound good!!
In fact, everything sounds good. AN excellent mix.

Great groove. Nice use of stops and drops (you get better at that all the time).

Nice vocals, cool BGVs.

I like it! A lot.
Did NOT need to understand the words to REALLY like the music...

Well done.

fj

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