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The Country That Doesn't Want You

The title for this song was inspired from a part in the novel American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins. For the "C" part of the song, I borrowed directly from "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus: the poem inscribed on the plaque on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. I know I have to work on my diction: In the chorus, "want you" comes out "wanchoo." Gesundheit!

Merry Christmas, my forum friends!

The Wrecking Crew:
RT697 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ElecRockDirty
RT4133 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ProgRockLondonSyncPower
NI Electric Mint
Various Guitar Loops
NI Prime Bass
DOD Drum Loops

Lyrics

You left your family
You left your home
Danger in the desert
Traveling all alone

Looking for liberty
And a dream to come true
You want to go
To the country that doesn’t want you

Poverty, brutality
Famine, and disorder
They had the same reasons
But came from a different border

Looking for liberty
And a dream to come true
You want to go
To the country that doesn’t want you

Give me your tired
Give me your homeless and poor
Where’s the lamp by the golden door

Looking for liberty
And a dream to come true
You want to go
To the country that doesn’t want you.

Your huddled masses
Yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse
Of your teeming shores
Words aren’t true anymore

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Super groove

I found nothing wrong with your vocal

Great mix

But it isn't that the country doesn't want you. The country wants you to enter it legally.


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too.
My country has reneged on its Refugee Rights agreements time & again over the last decade.
We don't have a plaque proclaiming an undeniable truth whilst doing the opposite we just do the wrong thing.
Australia, like the U.S.A., appears as a beacon of promise to those fleeing poverty, war and corruption.
Pity we aren't the light on the hill any more.
Musically this is strong from the backing to the melody...love the rattly bass in the C.
Your voice is good for this though you've probably pushed to hard to sound earnest in the 1st verse.
I suspect a warmer, move understanding voice at that point would be perfect.
This is the time of year when the narratives combine well... it's unlikely that the coincidence will spark in many.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Great groove, would've liked to have heard the chorus "pop" more if there were some way to do that. Good singing, I've always enjoyed your voice. Good lyrics. Happy holidaze!


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I agree with Ray:

Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too


Really well written, and I like the use of the quote from the plaque on the Statue of Liberty. Lou Reed did something similar in a song at some point if memory serves.

Really well done, Scott, great groove and vocal.

Best to you and yours for the holiday!

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Great song with a great groove, it's different in a very positive way, I like it a lot.

Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
"wanchoo." Gesundheit!

This was a running gag when Roger Hodgson was interviewed by my local radio station:
- Hello, my name is Roger Hodgson...
- Gesundheit!


Making bits and bytes sound good...

Goldmania Bella - A One-Man Girlband with no fans
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J
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love the voc style similar to the one on your what i consider to be a fantastic uber hit song...To be with you.

merry xmas.

om


New Song "PRETTY GIRL" for my wife...Dec 2023
(my vocs....mixed for good earbuds.)
https://soundcloud.com/alfsongs/prettygirlrbfinalcalfsongsdec2023mp3
(and rock song THE STALLION and bluegrass song... BANKER MAN....90 songs useing bb/rb.)
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Hi Scott
Cool song
Has a great background track
And the vocals work great with the sound of the song
I really like it
Thanks for sharing
Have a nice Christmas and a healthy new year too
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Originally Posted By: MarioD
Super groove

I found nothing wrong with your vocal

Great mix

But it isn't that the country doesn't want you. The country wants you to enter it legally.


Thanks, Mario!

Originally Posted By: rayc
Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too.
My country has reneged on its Refugee Rights agreements time & again over the last decade.
We don't have a plaque proclaiming an undeniable truth whilst doing the opposite we just do the wrong thing.
Australia, like the U.S.A., appears as a beacon of promise to those fleeing poverty, war and corruption.
Pity we aren't the light on the hill any more.
Musically this is strong from the backing to the melody...love the rattly bass in the C.
Your voice is good for this though you've probably pushed to hard to sound earnest in the 1st verse.
I suspect a warmer, move understanding voice at that point would be perfect.
This is the time of year when the narratives combine well... it's unlikely that the coincidence will spark in many.


Thanks so much, Ray, for the feedback. I a bit lazy and a bit impatient when recording. I do five vocal takes (unless it's unbearably bad). Then I take the least of the worst takes for each line, so for the first verse I just took the better sounding take. I might revisit the vocal when I am less lazy and more patient.

Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great groove, would've liked to have heard the chorus "pop" more if there were some way to do that. Good singing, I've always enjoyed your voice. Good lyrics. Happy holidaze!


Thanks for the listen and the positive comments about the vocal.

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Hi Ezekiel,

Good song with catchy beat and good lyrics.

Unbelievably - I'm also currently working on a song about the Statue of Liberty.

Best Regards
& Merry Xmas
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
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Love the feel, and that guitar you pushed to the right really supports it well. Good mix. Your diction is fine. Seems most folks I know say wanchoo. It's all about communication, and you tell this story with compassion and sing it with passion. Many words turn into platitudes that no longer have meaning, but there is truth in what you say. Happy Christmas, Scott.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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Scott,

This is a rockin' tune. Rockin' for sure.

Man, I think you should take this song down to a border town in Texas to a little bar with a lot of Dodge Rams and Harleys out front.

Get up on stage and start singing this as loud as you can and add:

MAGA hat wearing rednecks!
Gonna drive your truck in a big ditch
stinkin' dirty redneck hater
Stevie Ray Vaughn was sissy!


Make sure you are behind a wall of titanium chicken wire and let me know how it goes.

Don't forget to say Merry Christmas!!!

smile

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Ez,

Killer tracks! Radio Pop Punk. Excellent production/arrangement.

Excellent write. Intelligent.

Your vocal is perfect for this.

Very Well Mixed.

Top shelf.

fj

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Zeke, great song with an equally important theme. This topical subject is becoming more of a worldwide crisis with no easy answers, so it is important to keep pushing it forward so that maybe someday the humanitarians and the protectionists can compromise and find something that works for everyone. It won’t be easy. I wrote something about this from a different angle sometime ago and may revisit it. This was a great listen. Good work, Tom

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Yes it is a great arrangement and mix.

Vic

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
I agree with Ray:

Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too


Really well written, and I like the use of the quote from the plaque on the Statue of Liberty. Lou Reed did something similar in a song at some point if memory serves.

Really well done, Scott, great groove and vocal.

Best to you and yours for the holiday!


Thanks, Dave. Happy Holidays to you! (Think of the closing melody line of the song when you read that.)
Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
Great song with a great groove, it's different in a very positive way, I like it a lot.

Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
"wanchoo." Gesundheit!

This was a running gag when Roger Hodgson was interviewed by my local radio station:
- Hello, my name is Roger Hodgson...
- Gesundheit!


Thanks for the listen and comment, BD.

Originally Posted By: justanoldmuso
love the voc style similar to the one on your what i consider to be a fantastic uber hit song...To be with you.

merry xmas.

om

Merry Christmas, OM!

Originally Posted By: PROJECT M
Hi Scott
Cool song
Has a great background track
And the vocals work great with the sound of the song
I really like it
Thanks for sharing
Have a nice Christmas and a healthy new year too
Many greetings
Andi ;-)


Thanks, Andi. Frohe Weihnachten.

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Originally Posted By: NigelSpiers
Hi Ezekiel,

Good song with catchy beat and good lyrics.

Unbelievably - I'm also currently working on a song about the Statue of Liberty.

Best Regards
& Merry Xmas
Nigel


Nigel, I'm looking forward to hearing your S of L song.

Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
Love the feel, and that guitar you pushed to the right really supports it well. Good mix. Your diction is fine. Seems most folks I know say wanchoo. It's all about communication, and you tell this story with compassion and sing it with passion. Many words turn into platitudes that no longer have meaning, but there is truth in what you say. Happy Christmas, Scott.


Thanks much, Marty!

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Nicely done!

As for "wanchoo", a song in this style would probably be more harmed than helped by applying "proper" diction. wink

The lyric reminds me of when the acting head of US Citizenship and Immigration Services suggested rewriting "The New Colossus". crazy


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Strong message of the contradiction between liberty and reality, interesting inspiration, the backstory explains the lamp and the last line clearly.
What a sound, the drums have nice 'pop' sound and those riffing guitars work very well. The "C" parts are harder, but really cool, reminding me of 80's Brit new wave, New Model Army.
Enjoyed your vocals, fits the message and the band.

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Ez,

Killer tracks! Radio Pop Punk. Excellent production/arrangement.

Excellent write. Intelligent.

Your vocal is perfect for this.

Very Well Mixed.

Top shelf.

fj


Thank you for the kind assessment, Floyd.

Originally Posted By: tommyad
Zeke, great song with an equally important theme. This topical subject is becoming more of a worldwide crisis with no easy answers, so it is important to keep pushing it forward so that maybe someday the humanitarians and the protectionists can compromise and find something that works for everyone. It won’t be easy. I wrote something about this from a different angle sometime ago and may revisit it. This was a great listen. Good work, Tom

Thanks, Tom!

Originally Posted By: vicarn
Yes it is a great arrangement and mix.

Vic


Thank for the feedback, Vic.

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