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#757006 03/08/23 03:35 AM
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vicarn Offline OP
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Mike LeBlanc, my pal from Louisiana contacted me and said he thought his new gloomy lyric was right up my street.
I was flattered (in a way). smile

Changed a couple of lines and did the music on BIAB. I think it turned out the right side of gloomy Americana.
What do you think?

Bass: 2877,
Drums: Americana roots, Americana funky whip brush
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Deathbed Confession © 2023 LeBlanc & Arnold
V1
I have a lot of yesterdays
But my tomorrows wearing thin
So there's something i need to say
Come up close and lean on in
Something i have held inside
That's been haunting me for years
Something to easily steal my pride
And bring you hurt and tears
Ch. 1
But then i wonder if it matters
Should i keep these words
in my soul's possession
Don't want to change forever after
by my deathbed confession
V2
I see the angels swirling
And the light is growing dim
Please hold my hands and listen darling
For my time is at its end
Forgive me not for what i say
Have no mercy on your breath
For i have sinned but come what may
I'll will still love you beyond death
Ch.2
And all our tears and all our laughter
were our mind's and heart's obsession,
so i pray that you'll still love me
after my deathbed confession

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I was compelled to click by the title and I enjoyed the song. Nice arrangement and vocals and I like that we never actually get to know the juicy details of the confession.

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Excellent lyric! And excellent vocal too, you have such an expressive voice.

One of the guitars seems a bit busy to me, to my ears it is taking away from the vocal. Maybe pan it a bit more to give the vocal more space? Or drop it down a little.

But yeah, another cool song, Vic. I'm a fan!

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Vic,
Nice dark lyrics & good vocals. When I read notes & lyrics, I thought it would be darker, but arrangement made it incline in a slightly different direction, which actually worked very well. Enjoyed it and thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Joe.
Thanks for the listen and comment.
Yes, we'll never know the ending. Does he or doesn't he?


Vic

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Pretty good lyrics, and you made a nice song out of it.
The guitars are a bit too busy for my taste, I would have preferred more sustained notes. But it's also good the way it is now.

'I have a lot of yesterdays but my tomorrows wearing thin' is something I would never have thought of (as a non-native speaker).
Excellent


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Vic

Good song, evocative. Nicely sung and produced.

Very good story telling.

Peter

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Dave. I have spread the panning again and reduced the gain a couple of db on those guitars.

Vic

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I had an argument with myself as to whether there's an apostrophe needed in the 2nd line. It rather depends upon the listener's interpretation I suppose.
The narrative does leave me unsatisfied - I think that' a good thing but still a tease.
Well written & well realized.


Cheers
rayc
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Vic, this is a very captivating song. I hung on every word.
Super concept and execution.
You vocal was perfect for this setting.
I had no problem with the guitars.
Great mix.


Seated at the restaurant, He "Darling can you say something that makes my heart beat faster"?
She "Your wife just walked in"!

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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Misha.
Thank you. I like to confuse the emotions.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Mr. Thomas.
You cut me deep. Those busy guitars were what initially got me to choose that basic style.
They were a foil to the dark lyrics, I thought, but thank you for your thoughts on it.

Where are you a native of?

Vic

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HA! I actually laughed out loud reading "I was flattered (in a way)." Mike's lyrics are perfect. I love how there is actually no confession. Of course, your vocals are the master salesman for this song, and I like the melody you gave those lyrics. Well done.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thank you Peter.

Mike has an interesting imagination.
I've put quite a few of his lyrics to music.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Ray.
I would never argue over an apostrophe but in this case I suppose it could have said, "I have a lot of yesterdays but my tomorrows are worn thin", but the poor man is too short on time and education for grammar corrections. Have mercy. smile

Thanks for the nice comment.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Mario.
I hope it's a better mix now than when I started

Vic

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Nicely done Vic. Your vocals and the band do each other justice.
And the lyrics leave us pondering what our confession(s) might be.


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The whole package works well. Melody, instrumentation, vocal, and lyric all fit together and make a good impression on my ears and mind.

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Hey Vic...really nice...smart, relatable and well written lyrics...they had a very nice flow inside your excellent melody...I especially like the tempo and the cadence of your vocal...you excel vocally in this groove but then again you composed the melody and it's in your wheelhouse! I always enjoy your productions and style choices!


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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Marty.
You’re very kind. Thank you.

Vic

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