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#760248 04/03/23 10:52 AM
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Hi, all:

Here’s something new and a little bit different from me. John Vaughan penned the lyrics, noting that he had a 60-70s singer-songwriter folk style in mind. And so I came up with this. I’m using the Lone Son Acoustic Guitar Ballad style . . . and I think it’s the first time I’ve used a BIAB style without adding or changing out with alternative RealTracks. I liked the stripped, coffeehouse type vibe, and so added only the tambourine using Logic Pro.

Thanks in advance for the listens and appreciate any feedback!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Deej

Here’s the song:

EMILY

Here are the lyrics:

Choosing flowers from the garden carefully
She’ll arrange them in the lounge, my Emily
Subtle fragrances softly rushing in
Fill my senses hypnotic, calming 
Then she sits down and drifts away with me

Oh, Emily

We catch a cloud and sail on the summer breeze
Above the trees and the mountains floating gently
We spend all of the day on our flight 
Return as stars are welcomed by the night
Head on my shoulder, she sleeps peacefully

In each others arms until the new day dawns
We walk along the shore and watch the young sun rise
The surf as gentle as an angel’s heartbeat
Love as certain as the ebb and flow of the tide

The garden gate sounds farewell in the wind
The last of summer slips away, autumn moves in
She sits with me beside the open fire
And sings in starlight, a voice from heaven’s choir
She wears a dress she's made
And a smile that she’s saved just for me

And here’s the band:

RealTracks 2474: Bass, Acoustic, Held Ev 085
RealTracks 2505: Piano, Electric, HeldChords 085
RealTracks i2914: Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Folky16thsBrent
Logic Pro X: Tambourine

Deej56 #760304 04/03/23 10:07 PM
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This is SO delicate and beautiful! It flows so well, too. Congratulations to the both of you, a gem of a song. Love it.

Deej56 #760310 04/04/23 12:50 AM
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Hi Deej,

Really like the one. Lovely lyric from John, and I like the music bed you produced.

And of course your vocal is always top notch!

Nicely done.

Deej56 #760319 04/04/23 01:51 AM
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Hi Deej,

Good song and well mixed - excellent.

Best Regards
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
Deej56 #760320 04/04/23 01:53 AM
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Hi Deej.
Good soft vocal and instrument job on this. A song of fantasy and dreams.
My only sugg would be for more of a melody coming in on line 4 of the verse (go into something like G, Em, F, Am sequence there for the next 3 lines so you're riding on the air.
I can't help it if I'm addicted to suggs smile .

Deej56 #760334 04/04/23 03:48 AM
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Seriously, Deej, you are one of my favorite all-time singers, and this is another perfect song for you. John penned some wonderful lyrics and you turned it into a fun song. You're right that this song is perfect for an uncluttered background. well done!


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Deej56 #760348 04/04/23 04:15 AM
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Deej56,
Very poetic tune. If there such thing as indie pop rock, this makes a very good example of it. Fantastic vocals, very laid back arrangement. Sounds great in my headphones. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Deej56 #760366 04/04/23 05:05 AM
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Great lyrics and your singing gets it across perfectly.
Also love your calm and sparse arrangement, it's perfect for the song.
Absolutely nothing to complain about smile


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Deej56 #760383 04/04/23 06:32 AM
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Hello DJ
very nice and calm song
The vocals are really on the highest level and transport
the wonderful lyrics very impressively to the listener
A very great work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Deej56 #760460 04/04/23 05:15 PM
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Deej...what a beautiful song...it has the gentle feel of a John Denver ballad to me...I love the narrative poetic feel...so perfectly sung...gorgeous melody...I agree with Marty wholeheartedly, you are one of if not my favorite vocalist on the forum...Greg Johnson and Torrey Bliss are others so now you know the stratosphere you live in in my mind...man I love the songs you produce!


www.soundclick.com/firesong
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Deej56 #760481 04/04/23 10:21 PM
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Really sweet Deej & John.
You seem to have swallowed the j/g from lounge - no biggie but it could probably be resurrected if it's still around.
Really cool result gents.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Deej56 #760483 04/04/23 11:49 PM
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Deej,

This is absolutely beautiful... Stunning vocal and outstanding production.

You have a real gift.

Bob

Deej56 #760505 04/05/23 04:37 AM
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Wait a minute! Right after I come out with Penelope you come out with Emily!!

Just kidding! smile

But I actually got some feedback (in another place) that said we weren't allowed to use a woman or girl's name in a song, it was too "restrictive." I said what about Michelle? The answer? You're not Paul McCartney!!

Kathy's Song??

You're not Paul Simon!!

Ok, that makes total sense.

ANYWAY, this is gorgeous and it does remind me of John Denver. Nice.

Let's start a song with a woman's name in it contest, shall we??

smile

Deej56 #760514 04/05/23 06:27 AM
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This is beautiful. It puts me in mind of a hybrid of Jimmy Webb, Harry Chapin and . . . not sure who else, but someone good! Thanks for sharing

Deej56 #760522 04/05/23 06:50 AM
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Deej,
Dreamlike,beautifully uncluttered with lyrics that stay true to the romantic feel..
Nice to hear your vocal quality shine in a relaxed,folky setting!

Robert

Deej56 #760527 04/05/23 07:12 AM
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James, Dave, Nigel, Vic, Marty, Misha, B.D., Andi, Dan, Ray, Bob, David S., Killer, and Robert:

Thanks all for the listens. John wrote a really nice lyric and I'm glad that I have seemed to have done right by it. A few specific responses to the comments:

Ray: Yeah, I hear that drop . . . probably when I edited out the silences from the vocal . . . I went back in, fixed it and reposted. Thanks.

Vic: I'll confess I was a little leery that the melody might be a bit one note, and in particular that the bridge itself wasn't "different" enough from the rest of the song. But I got comfortable with it the more I played with and listened to it. That said, always worth revisiting as an alternative version and I'll definitely mess around with some of your chord suggestions.

David S: I'll also confess I was unaware of that name rule . . . but we all know that we as songwriters must follow strict songwriting protocol and that ignorance is no excuse. I am therefore actively engaging in a re-write to erase "Emily" from the lyric in her entirety. I simply need to find a three-syllable alternative that rhymes with "Emily". I have come up with the following two:

(1) "Oohhhhh . . . nameless she"; and
(2) "Oohhhhh . . . Yay for me"

Happy to entertain any addition suggestions folks may have. smile

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 04/05/23 12:09 PM.
Deej56 #760538 04/05/23 08:01 AM
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"Nameless she."

That won't offend anyone.

Wait...

There is one group in Portland that might....

Hold that thought...I'll be back.

Deej56 #760695 04/06/23 11:18 AM
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Fabulous track Deej! This is a great poem set to great music - and your vocal is perfect! Yes, this is a little different than many of your others, but gosh this is soooooooo good. I'm sure glad you gave it a try. I love the style you chose, it really lets the words and your vocal shine. Great job by both of you!

Brad

Deej56 #760727 04/07/23 02:27 AM
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Hi Deej,

Well, this is really a nice, sweet ballad about Emily.
Love the guitar in it and of course your vocals!

When I saw the title I had to think of my song about Emily. Maybe it's the same person we sang about?
Or do I have to ask John about it?

Very well done,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Deej56 #760728 04/07/23 02:37 AM
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Lovely.

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