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Afternoon Folks,
here's a collaboration between Misha & myself.
BIAB stuff:
Style is _MAJESTY.STY (Majesty Psych Rock March Solo)
RealDrums in style:PraiseWorshipUptempo16^2-a:Kick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat, Kick
Lead guitar but I can't find the reference (double track wit a rotating flanger on one)
Two organs...one just the bass/left hand end occasionally on the left & the other side is the right hand of another RT.
Peopled Parts:
Excellent synths, verse vocals & tentatively mastering by Misha, (through Ozone to see what the result were like and how thinks like reverb and EQ responded to the compression).
Mellotron synths, (my 1st successful use of a Midi keyboard and VSTis), BDI21 & Knockhofner bass plus 12/6 string guitars, one with eBow knockoff, via an ACTONE pedal.
Daneel's Lament

Here's an unmastered, tweaked mix based on the observations of the 1st few sets of ears...
Unmastered tweak

Unmastered but tweaked for vocal clarity as requested. personally I wanted a distorted, robotic sound to fit the narrative but I conceded the need for comprehensibility:
Daneel's Lament CLEAN
https://soundcloud.com/user-963416123/daneels-lament-clean2?si=f9294c4cc43349449b3b1d4f090d460c&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Intro "Robot" fx: Modern Deathcore -> EQ Modern -> Deathcore -> RingMod
Misha's main & bvox vox: ATKSD -> EQ -> Flangebaby -> EQ -> VOLA -> pitch shift up 1
ray's main & bvox vox: IronOxideClassic ->SpectrumMatcher ->ATKSD -> EQ -> Flangebaby -> EQ -> VOLA -> pitch shift up 1
Mix by Misha & ray.
THANK YOU Misha for you wonderful work on this.
ALL thoughts, comments and suggestions welcome.
Lyrics
Intro
I detect a disturbance
V1 intro
BRIDGE
I'm a mere thread
In the vast tapestry
Of neurotic humanity
CHORUS 1
I'm not your chatbot
Not the back up you forgot
I'm designed to efficiently.
Write your Psychohistory
Best to have all the relevant facts
Before one acts, there are
Three laws to install &
The Zero Law to rule them all
VERSE 2
Don't get caught
In the Naked Sun
or places
The Caves of Steel shun
I ask that
You be frank in a
Partnership
In law such as ours.
We have but
Limited powers
Limited hours
BRIDGE
You're a mere thread
In the vast tapestry
Of neurotic humanity
C2
I'm not your sextbot
Not your metal polyglot
I'm designed coincidentally.
To correct your history
Best to have all the relevant facts
Before one acts, there are
Three laws to install &
The Zero Law to rule them all
SOLO
VERSE3
Unjust law,
A contradiction
Just such laws
Are your affliction
Three new laws
for your protection
Don't replace
The machines of dawn
For some deal
On cheap A.I. [*****]
cheap A.I. [*****]
BRIDGE
We're a mere thread
In the vast tapestry
Of neurotic humanity
C3
I'm not your petbot
Not part of the counterplot
I'm designed specifically
To fix electrobiology
Best to have all the relevant facts
Before one acts, there are
Three laws to install &
The Zero Law to rule them all
OUTRO

ray & Misha...

LOVE the opening. cool guitar, cool synth-y sounds and that BASS sounds amazing.
Drums sound mushy. fuzzy. too-far-back. Weak.
Listening on speakers, I had difficulty making out any lyric. With headphones I could understand parts of the verses.
After 5 minutes that Big overall sound gets tiring to the ears. There doesn't seems to be any breaks or significant variation to the Big overall sound.

fj

Ray and Misha,

Super intro: cool instrumentation and performance!
I had a very hard time hearing and understanding the vocals.
I liked the wall of sound but thought the drums could be louder. Again only my opinion and others may or may not agree with me.

I think this is a great start and with a little polishing could be a diamond of a song.

Man, there's a lot going on here, gents! Not my genre but it really kept my attention. This is definitely thinking outside the box. Great job with the vox Misha and Ray. Also, I'm glad to see Ray go out on a limb with the synth. I haven't gotten that creative yet. Great lead guitar choice as well.

Dewey

I like the sound, but couldn't make out much in terms of actual vocals. Misha got through at points, Ray less so.

Did the forums censor the word [*****] from the lyrics? Yes, yes it did. Ha!

Cool listen.

THANK YOU - focused ears yet again.
Yes, it seems the Ozone preset we experimented with made everything loud except the drums.
I've listened again & hear all that you've mentioned.
I've created a little more clarity around the vocals - though trying to retain some robot/machine sense.
I've not done much to the drums as they were pretty clear in the mix before hand though I did find I had a compressor AFTER an EQ which was silly of me.
The dips in sound, density and bombast for the verses seem a little clearer now.
Ta Muchly.

Thanks Mario,
My zeal to make to vocals robotic made them harder to discern.
Drums addressed.

Thank you Dewey,
Folk write "Not my genre" often. Do you mean the types of music you listen to or make?
The MIDI thing? Yes, I could've spent money and bought a good keyboard with lots of great sounds but I only want a very few and after seeking advice on decent midi keyboards I found one that could do what I want without bells & whistles. AUS$50 and some free VSTis makes it easy. To try to stay true to the game I play the keyboard -> VSTi straight in and record the audio rather than the midi. Makes me feel less of a cheat.

Thank you,
I've started to address the vocal clarity.
Yes, that simple four letter abbreviated word, describing text & imagery of a titillating nature, was crossed out by the algorithm.

Ray,

Love the opening to this . . . very engaging, crisp. Good touch on the vocal sounds in the bridge . . . but I’d like it to lose the tamped down, tubular vocal sound after that bridge and kick in with a more up front cleaner vocal (almost like the one you use in verse 2. But, hey, that’s all artistic preference. You’ve got a great sound doing on here. Excellent start, cool tune as is!

My best to you all,

Deej

Ray / Misha,

Artistic and creative... Love the huge sound. Love the non-stop pace. Love the atmosphere. Production sounds awesome to me.

Much enjoyed!

Bob

Love how you built the wall of sound. Thought a couple of the vocal sections were a bit forward in the mix. Overall, I think it works well.

Well, that is one of the coolest intros I've ever heard! Nicely done.

Lyrics are great, but definitely need to read along during the vocal to get them all.

Good stuff Ray and Misha, very creative.

Hi Ray and Misha,
Your collaboration is turning out great!
I loved everything in it, even the last seconds were intriguing!

This feeling I had when listeing to your powerful song in which so many nice things, synth-sounds and words passed.
Of course Ray was hiding his voice again behind the band, but in this case that was no problem to me.
The vocals became more mysterious and -concerning the lyrics- that was a good thing!
Misha must have had the time of his life singing his dark verses! They were great, Misha!

All the words above mean I like the song ;-)
Hans

Hi Ray and Misha.
I like the energy in the arrangement. Not too keen on all that vocal processing in the verses which hides the fine lyric.
Misha's vocal comes through though. Nearly there.

Vic

This has the experimentalism I have come to expect from you guys!

Never a disappointment.

I was not bothered by the production because I heard it as kind of its own thing. Yes, it is a little crazy, but it is also a lot of fun.

R2D2?

I listened to the tweaked version. Your voice is not buried, which you know you have a tendency to do. I like having both you and Misha alternating on vocals. It add to the already otherworldly feel.

There is a lot going on sonically. Not overwhelming, but quite captivating.

One of my favorites.

Technical feedback:

• I listened to the tweak, the mix of the band, especially the drums, is fine now
• Your singing is still way too buried, I can't understand many words at all
  Misha's vocals are good (and a nice addition to your song)
• At 5:20 minutes long, it gets a bit monotonous/unspectacular after a while.
  I would use the bridges to create a strong contrast, maybe something really quiet with just one instrument and vocals (maybe even spoken vocals) would bring my attention back to where it should be on a song this good. And give the following chorus much more impact.

Artistic Feedback:

• LOVE the song, good lyrics, lots of little details and interesting things to listen to
• With Misha you've found a perfect singer for this music genre. Fits like a glove
• Even though they are buried, I like your vocals and the mood you create

Oh, my, Ray AND Misha? This is gonna be great!! Vocals are hard to hear. I really dig Misha's voice mixed with yours, Ray. Cool drum tracks and your bass is perfect (although it too could be louder*). I knew with you two mixing it up that the lyrics were going to be something special. Man, i like it when I'm right. There is so much fun in the mix. Both of you guys write songs that can be listened to over and over again and there is always something new to be heard. PUt the two of you together and well... I'll be listening again and again and again and again.


*heavily biased opinion

Thanks Deej,
Vocal clarity should be improved on the latest mix.
You've good ears and offered good detail.