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#779846 10/23/23 04:20 PM
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I'm Not Coming Home Tonight

I was originally going to write a country song based on the title, but decided to go in a completely different direction. I hope it's halfway listenable.

The Wrecking Crew
RT4012 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModPopDistortedSwellsHeld
RT2483 Bass, Acoustic, Bowed HeldSimple
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If I could hold onto our dreams
If I could hold together the broken seams
2 a.m. and my friends have gone
I ‘ll walk away toward the edge of dawn

You’ve become everything you said you wouldn’t be
I think maybe it’s you ‘cause I know that it’s not me
I’m always wrong whenever we start to fight
I’ve tried so hard to love you, but I just can’t get it right
I’m not coming home tonight

If I could hear you laugh once again
If I could see you smile like you did then
2 a.m. and our friends had gone
We held each other ‘til the break of dawn

You’ve become everything you said you wouldn’t be
I think maybe it’s you ‘cause I know that it’s not me
I’m always wrong whenever we start to fight
I’ve tried so hard to love you, but I just can’t get it right
I’m not coming home tonight

There’ll be no
Please come home
Please come home

You’ve become everything you said you wouldn’t be
I think maybe it’s you ‘cause I know that it’s not me
I’m always wrong whenever we start to fight
I’ve tried so hard to love you, but I just can’t get it right
I’m not coming home tonight

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Big powerful piano, strong vocals and a sad but good write.
Well done.


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Ezekiel,

Killer vocal work on this. The piano works really well in this. Like the tempo changes in the chorus and then the slow down again into the second verse and so on. Like it a ton . . . Excellent work on this one!

All my best to you,

Deej

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VERY cool though the guitar or piano that breaks up on the right seems a bit too broken fizzy. It ends up sounding like grainy texture.
You strong vocal could cope with the drums being centred easily enough.
Really cool combo and a lovely narrative.


Cheers
rayc
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Hi Scott,

Love the vocal! You have a powerful and very distinctive voice.
Very effective when you add the second vocal doing the "I'm not coming home" line.
Track sounds great, although I agree with Ray about the drums.

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Scott,

Great, great song. Love the arrangement and production.

Your vocal is awesome - a real standout!

Bob

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Completely different direction really paid off. This is a great track, the intro and the beautiful sounding band attract to listen. Enjoyable 80's piano sound there. I like the work with the drums. Sad story and when sung with such a passion it really is a touching hit, "please come back" part is truly convincing! Mix is bit unusual, but that just makes the song very special and memorable.

Janne


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Good emotional write and delivery. Excellent instrumentation and arrangement.

Saying it's "halfway" listenable is only half-accurate. wink

By the way, it looks like you changed this lyric:

   There’ll be no
   Please come home
   Please come home

Anyway, love it! smile


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Originally Posted by Bass Thumper
Big powerful piano, strong vocals and a sad but good write.
Well done.
Thank you kindly, BT.

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Originally Posted by Deej56
Ezekiel,

Killer vocal work on this. The piano works really well in this. Like the tempo changes in the chorus and then the slow down again into the second verse and so on. Like it a ton . . . Excellent work on this one!

All my best to you,

Deej
Deej, I appreciate your feedback.

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Originally Posted by rayc
VERY cool though the guitar or piano that breaks up on the right seems a bit too broken fizzy. It ends up sounding like grainy texture.
You strong vocal could cope with the drums being centred easily enough.
Really cool combo and a lovely narrative.
Ray, I'm not too sure if you meant that the drums weren't centered. I did make some minor tweaks just now with the drums and vocals. I'll go back to it when I've got a bit more time. Thanks for the feedback.

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Originally Posted by BlueAttitude
Hi Scott,

Love the vocal! You have a powerful and very distinctive voice.
Very effective when you add the second vocal doing the "I'm not coming home" line.
Track sounds great, although I agree with Ray about the drums.
Thanks, Dave, for the comment on the vocal. I never really like the way I sound.

Last edited by Ezekiel's Storm; 10/27/23 03:59 PM.
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LOVE your song, great and emotional storytelling (it pretty much sums up my first marriage) and your vocals really ROCK.
My new favorite of yours!


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This is a really moving song, Ezekiel! Great job with the lyrics, vocals, and production. I especially like the surprise echo vocals before the last chorus. Time well spent in the studio I'd say!

Dewey

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Hi Scott.

This song mesmerised me. I was really caught up in the lyrics, the production and the vocals.
On every level, this is a brilliant creation.
You have done a superb job.

By the way, I disagree with you. This is "all the way listenable". There is nothing "half" about it.

All the best,
--Noel


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Ezekiel, that's epic. Loved the way the song builds in energy right through to the end. Not easy to do on a long song! Nicely done!


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Funny, Scott. I listened ALL THE WAY, and loved it all. I like how the melody builds with the chords. Ah, The Wrecking Crew. You called in the best band. I like the dynamics you use in this, and the counterpoint reply "I'm not coming home." Perfect ending to that line too. You add "tonight" as if it's an afterthought, which means that it's not over --yet.


Enjoy whatever happens!
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Originally Posted by rsdean
Scott,

Great, great song. Love the arrangement and production.

Your vocal is awesome - a real standout!

Bob
I appreciate the comments, Bob

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Originally Posted by jannesan
Completely different direction really paid off. This is a great track, the intro and the beautiful sounding band attract to listen. Enjoyable 80's piano sound there. I like the work with the drums. Sad story and when sung with such a passion it really is a touching hit, "please come back" part is truly convincing! Mix is bit unusual, but that just makes the song very special and memorable.

Janne

Janne, I am pleased you found the song memorable.

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Originally Posted by dcuny
Good emotional write and delivery. Excellent instrumentation and arrangement.

Saying it's "halfway" listenable is only half-accurate. wink

By the way, it looks like you changed this lyric:

   There’ll be no
   Please come home
   Please come home

Anyway, love it! smile

Thanks, Dave. Yes, I changed the bridge lyric shortly before recording because I didn't want to say "home" again; however, I forgot to change it on my lyric sheet. Thanks for calling my attention to it.

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