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#783771 11/24/23 06:31 PM
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Noel96 Offline OP
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Here is a song that I wrote a couple of months ago.

I wanted these lyrics to capture that moment in time when someone looks at himself or herself in a mirror and says to the image something like, "Come on! You can do it!" From experience, I've found that the best song format for capturing a single moment in time is AABA form. So armed with a picture and a song form, this is where my thinking has taken me.

♫ Rise And Shine
Lyrics on Soundcloud

Please feel free to be critical of any aspect of the music/lyrics, performance or production.

All the best,
--Noel


The Band
Song Tempo: 90 bpm

BIAB
Solo Guitar: RT 1237... Guitar, Electric, Soloist SmoothJazzPoppy Ev16 090
Guitar: RT 1017... Guitar, Electric, Strumming CleanBarre Ev 085
Guitar: RT 4200... Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm SongwriterGentleSync16ths Ev16 090
Piano: RT1996... Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm SmoothJazzPoppy Ev16 090
Bass: RT 700... Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesPush Ev 085
Drums: RockRoots ev8^1

MIDI
Organ: VST3i: HaNonB70 (Lostin70s)
Guitar: VST3i: Strum GS-2
Arpeggios: VSTi: KV 331 Audio Synthmaster Player2 (#108 ARP Light Spark ARK)


The Production
DAW: Reaper

RT 4200: I used Reaper to create two instances of the same Realtrack, and I panned one instance hard left and the other hard right. I offset one of the instances by moving it 10 ms later in the mix, and I detuned it slightly (-2 cents). Doing this helps give the two instances of the same WAV file a fuller sound when they play together.

Bass: VST3 Renaissance Bass (set to Parker Bass Thump)
Piano; Lin MB (Linear Phase Multiband Compressor Plugin)
Guitar 1237: ReaDelay, Lin MB.
Guitar 1017: ReaDelay
Vocals: Nectar 3
Reverb: M30 Studio Reverb by TC Electronic, ReaVerberate
Final Output: Ozone 10


MY SONGS...
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Hi Noel,

As a WIP, I think you have a terrific foundation to tweak a little bit and take it to its full potential. You asked for comments, and here's what came to mind for me:

1. You have a great message!

2. A suggestion for lyric tweak on the bridge -
You currently have:

Don’t worry if you feel a bit crumpled and broken
And the future looks bleak because the present is woeful
Once you get moving
You get things improving and then, hey presto!
It’s go, go, go

I'm not sold on the broken/woeful rhyme. Here's an alternative to consider:

Don’t worry if you feel a bit crumpled and broken
And the future looks bleak because the present is a FALSE TOKEN
Once you get moving
You get things improving and then, hey presto!
It’s go, go, go

(It's an extra syllable, but when I sang it to myself, it blended fine with the slightest bit of rephrasing)

3. I think the ending piano riff is a bit too "sweet" for the power of the message.

4. I think this is the best vocal I've heard from you in a very long time! It's strong and appropriately provides a somewhat gentle power that emphasizes the "wake up and get your act together" message. I really enjoyed your delivery.

You are a very talented composer and will find those little tweaks that you feel might be needed to really polish this - be it some of these observations or others you might discover yourself.

I hope you find these comments helpful. If not, just throw them in the mirror and see if they disappear. Once you've got a finished product, I'm sure it's going to be a winner!

Take care, my friend.

Alan


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Originally Posted by Al-David
Hi Noel,

As a WIP, I think you have a terrific foundation to tweak a little bit and take it to its full potential. You asked for comments, and here's what came to mind for me:

1. You have a great message!

2. A suggestion for lyric tweak on the bridge -
You currently have:

Don’t worry if you feel a bit crumpled and broken
And the future looks bleak because the present is woeful
Once you get moving
You get things improving and then, hey presto!
It’s go, go, go

I'm not sold on the broken/woeful rhyme. Here's an alternative to consider:

Don’t worry if you feel a bit crumpled and broken
And the future looks bleak because the present is a FALSE TOKEN
Once you get moving
You get things improving and then, hey presto!
It’s go, go, go

(It's an extra syllable, but when I sang it to myself, it blended fine with the slightest bit of rephrasing)

3. I think the ending piano riff is a bit too "sweet" for the power of the message.

4. I think this is the best vocal I've heard from you in a very long time! It's strong and appropriately provides a somewhat gentle power that emphasizes the "wake up and get your act together" message. I really enjoyed your delivery.

You are a very talented composer and will find those little tweaks that you feel might be needed to really polish this - be it some of these observations or others you might discover yourself.

I hope you find these comments helpful. If not, just throw them in the mirror and see if they disappear. Once you've got a finished product, I'm sure it's going to be a winner!

Take care, my friend.

Alan

Hi Alan smile

Thank you for jumping in the thread. It's always excellent to see/read you. And thank you heaps for your thoughts. You've given me some good ideas and I really appreciate them. I always get caught up in my own thinking and having input from others, helps me broaden my horizons. As as result, I get to see further than my own mind lets me see.

I hope that all is going well for you and Di smile Please say hello to her from me.

All the best of everything,
--Noel

EDIT (December 1): I'm still pondering your thoughts, Alan.Your comments have really got me thinking and I'm sincerely grateful for that smile

Last edited by Noel96; 11/30/23 09:00 AM.

MY SONGS...
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Noel, enjoyed this very much! Reminds me of a show tune, as I could see in my mind the actors performing this as a choreographed stage number. Weird, huh? Anyway, no real criticisms. You could always add a harmony part or two, especially on the chorus. That would make it match my imaginary stage performance better. Ha! Oh, and I enjoyed the guitar solo. Don't see it credited so assume it was you. Nice! Hope to hear more...


DC Ron
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Terrific, Noel. The first thing I saw was that pic you chose. Perfect. And then the song, too, lived up to the perfection. A wonderfully encouraging song. I like what Ron says about this one being like a showtune. The best kind. In the same way it would be that song in the show that changes everything, making the new day better, this song can do that. Good band choices, and well mixed, too.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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Noel, I agree with Ron and could easily envision this being sung on Broadway. Everything sounds great in the mix and you sang the heck out of it. My only suggestion would be to add a very small amount of delay and reverb to the guitar solo. It’s not a deal breaker and I’m still a buyer either way, Tom

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Noel,
It's great to hear your voice on a song again! Your songs always have an enjoyable happy feel to them which your vocals compliment so well. Your contributions like this one are such a treasure to this forum!
Thanks, TB




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Noel...what a great positive and encouraging song...I love the melody...a super sing-a-long...terrific track....the rhyme scheme is perfect for your message...a great listen!!


www.soundclick.com/firesong
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Noel,

"Unlock your potential
And become presidential "

I got a chuckle out of that rhyme.
Although "presidential" no longer has the meaning it once did considering recent examples.

You might be the MOST positive Songwriter I've ever known.
This is quintessential Noel Adams.

Good BAND.
Nice vocals!
Good mix.

Great to see you posting again.
The Showcase is not same without you.

fj

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This is BEAUTIFUL, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL!!! Not only are you so positive in your songs, you are actually a TOP musician. This is a great song in its own right, and your voice adds SO MUCH to it. I already cannot imagine it sung by anyone else. What a superb job - it's a standing ovation from me. Bravo.

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Noel

Lovely positive song (as expected) that you do so well.

Enjoyed sitting back and listening.

Peter

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Beautiful melody. What a great song.

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First of all, as floyd said,
“Great to see you posting again.
The Showcase is not same without you.”

The lyric is very relatable and our kitchen has many quotes posted up of positive thoughts like these sentiments.

Love this:

“Get out there and play, now 
It’s a thrilling new day, now
 Come on! Rise and shine”

Your vocal, the band and the mix are all a delight to hear.

Like the work you did on RT
4200 (it seems akin to what a doubler fx would create).

Again, here’s to the wonderful sentiment!!

J&B

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Noel,

This song is outstanding! Your vocal is top notch - one of your best.

Everything hangs together perfectly. The song is one of the best positive lyrics I've heard anywhere in a while.

Loved it all from start to finish.

Bob

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It's good to hear your voice again. You have a knack for composing ear-pleasing melodies. Your lyrics have McCartney-esque optimism!

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Nicely done Noel!! Really nice, uplifting tune with a great arrangement and great vocal......I feel better already!! Everything works for me!!! Take care. Greg

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Sounds great!

I'll echo what floyd jane noted - the word "Presidential" has connotations that don't match the sunny disposition of the lyric.

   Stop warming the bench and you'll
   Unlock your potential
wink

That aside - great vocal, positive lyric, upbeat production! laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Noel,
the hard panned and time slipped strategy worked but it often go awry. I think the reason this works so well is the strength of the voice & solo in the centre.
I agree with other folk - ace to HEAR YOU again. You do fab work with the synth vox but yours is a unique instrument that works well.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Noel, I agree that this is a perfect song for a Broadway musical.
Great vocal, backing tracks, and mix.
Loved those lyrics.
I hope you will post more often.


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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Originally Posted by DC Ron
Noel, enjoyed this very much! Reminds me of a show tune, as I could see in my mind the actors performing this as a choreographed stage number. Weird, huh? Anyway, no real criticisms. You could always add a harmony part or two, especially on the chorus. That would make it match my imaginary stage performance better. Ha! Oh, and I enjoyed the guitar solo. Don't see it credited so assume it was you. Nice! Hope to hear more...

Hi Ron,

Thank you for visiting. And thanks for your comments smile As much as I would like to claim the guitar solo as my work, it was Dwight Sills' Realtrack #1237. I've now added that information to my band's description.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and pass on your thoughts.

All the best,
--Noel


MY SONGS...
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