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Journeyman
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I'm sending this over to my friend Scot to see if he might like to sing it and thought I'd share it. Please pretend there's a really good singer on it. haha Any comments welcome, thanks, Pete. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7556925You Hold Up My World Six thirty in the morning, already late for work That old truck broke down, down by the Methodist Church. Lost a half days wages, spent fifty on the truck, Somebody stole my toolbox, I'm flat out of luck. Felt like my world was falling 'til I came home to you You hold up my world I couldn't carry on without you Love so strong and true Do you even know what you do for me You tame the lightening,you still the thunder You take away every cloud I'm under I owe this lifetime to you You hold up my world I was going to be a preacher and you a preachers wife Live out in the country, we'd share a simple life But God made other plans, a baby's on the way I could not understand how I was blessed that day Felt like my world was falling, but you pulled me through repeat chorus And when I cannot see, you are my eyes And when my spirit's down it's such a surprise when repeat chorus Pete Gallatin,2005 BMI all rights reserved
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Journeyman
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Pete;
You're up late like me. That is gonna be a good one. Lots of emotion in that. Great production on the music.
I actually liked your voice on the verses. The choruses might just be out of your range, is all.
Good job;
Gene
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Journeyman
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Thanks Gene! Yeah I'm up late and excited that the Trailblazers won.
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My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Apprentice
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Apprentice
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Good song. Maybe in a different key - you could handle the vocals - the verses were pretty good.
Thanks for sharing
The Powderman
Learning something new everyday
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Journeyman
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Thanks Robert and Powderman - thanks for listening and posting up! Powderman - I'm not sure such a key exists?
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Pete,
1st of all I like the tune, but I am a bit puzzled with the following verse:
I was going to be a preacher and you a preachers wife
Live out in the country, we'd share a simple life
But God made other plans, a baby's on the way
I could not understand how I was blessed that day
Felt like my world was falling, but you pulled me through
Why should a baby on the way stop anyone from becoming a preacher? And the next line declares it as a blessing while the following line says "felt like my world was falling". Maybe it's just me but those lines seem contradictory.
But as I said, overall I like the tune. Good job!
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Hi Pete,
Very emotional. I like the way you structured the chorus. The "lightning thunder cloud under" - nice. I think with a pro singer it will be good.
Sundance
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Hi Danny,
Hey good to hear from you and hope you're doing well.
I'll explain the verse, but having to explain it probably means it's not working as intended. The situation I was trying to portray was that he had this idyllic dream of how their life would be, but she became pregnant and he had to take a job and give up or postpone his dream, and he wasn't able to accept this at first, maybe didn't want to have the child, but she was able to keep him focused on what was real and important and now he is thankful that she did and loves the child dearly. - it's funny that the verse works for some and some have your question - It's about pipedreams versus facing realities, and yes, if he was truly called, he would have still become a preacher, it's just I knew some who thought that's what they wanted, even studied for it, but never were really cut out for it. He feels like fate intervened to stop him, he may realize later in life he wasn't cut out for it or willing to make the sacrifices to get there. Anyway that's what I was trying to put in those 5 short lines.
Thanks for asking, I appreciate it!
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Thanks Sundance,
This song has always been an emotional one for me and I have always wanted to hear what I hear in my head put into some tracks.
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Pete, this is one great song. The lyrics are fantastic. I hope you copyrighted this one.
My boss calls me "the computer".
Nothing to do with intelligence. I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Very nice Pete, I really liked this one.
Great job with the melody, it grabs ya.
I could hear someone like Kenny Chesney singing this one. Great potential in this one, IMO.
To me. it is begging for some female harmonies on the chorus' as well.
Great song, I enjoyed it.
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Thanks Pete, it's just that some days I am a bit slower than others.  Good song man.
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Expert
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Expert
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A lot to like about this tune. I think you're handling the verses just fine. Just need to experiment with the chorus. Or just find a great singer (LOL!). Yes, I am not sure about the "preacher" verse, even after reading your explanation. Tons of promise here!
Kevin
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Hi Pete,
Sounds good.
Perhaps a rework on the lyric or add another verse that clarifies the thing for those who aren't sure about what's goin' on in the story would be in order.
I've got some digital artifacts in playback here, not sure whether that's soundclick or if its on the file itself.
The vocal track needs a redo anyway to lick the slight intonation probs in places, too, so a rework of the lyrics for clarification would not be a kill anyway.
This is a good song idea and is mostly all there. Maybe set it aside for a bit and revisit the thing, or maybe hit it hard right now, depends on if you feel the juices are flowin' and ready on that front or not.
--Mac
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Hi Mario,
Thanks , I'm glad you liked it , but you know I only use the poor man's copyright. Hope all's is well with you and yours.
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Thanks Trax, Would you please just slip this in Kenny's mailbox for me  Happy to hear it worked for you. I did put some female harmony in there via helicon, but probably mixed 'em down to where you can't hear it.
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Thanks Kevin, Yeah! I'm submitting this to Scot Crandal who recorded a couple of my lyrics last year. And he's interested in doing a more pop kinda album. he has near operatic quality in his vocal work and you can google some of the church music he's recorded on i-tunes, so I know he can handle the chorus and I told him to make it his own if he wants to change it around. He composes on piano and has a jazz/classical kind of style so that could be interesting if it comes about. Ha ha! "Tons of promise here' - that's another one you can put on my tombstone.  As to whether the 'preacher' stays or goes - really depends on if Scot wants to work on the song and how he likes the lyric. But one grain of insight on that is often (not always) the things people dislike most in a song lyric are the things that are the strongest. The reason is that if the lyric is saying some thing, then people will react one way or another, of course it's easy to go too far or just say things that are distasteful, but the best songs usually have some unusual elements in them, lyrically or musically. -says guru Pete.
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Hunh? What were we talking about? I can't remember.
You're sharp as a tack and I got your point. No apologies needed, you're probably right.
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Hi Mac,
Sounds like a good Rx for the song. I noticed the mix was pretty trebley, I didn't hear artifacts though? Anyway as I said above all depends on if it becomes part of Scots' project as to the rewrite and vocal. Then it's out of my basement into a real studio. Yahoo!
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