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Really curious to see what you think of this one. Personally, I must say I'm happier with it than some of my other latest efforts ... but see what you think? :-) As always, thank you SO much for listening and for any feedback! https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/to-write-a-love-songVoice recorded with Audacity and compressed, normalised, etc. etc. etc. until I was relatively and reasonably happy with it, for now at least :-) ... open to suggestions on levels, mix, etc., as indeed on everything else :-) TO WRITE A LOVE SONG (lyrics) You look at me so kindly and ask me to write a song. And stand, away from me, as I sit there alone; You say that, of all things, love songs are most sincere, And flash your stunning smile as I control my tears. They say to write a love song 'tis greatest thing of all But how am I to share what eats inside my soul? And how am I to write, not knowing what love is? When to be loved by another is, to me, unknown bliss? You know, there was someone I loved so long ago, She never loved me back - although then I thought so. But you, quite rightly so, won't wait for me too long... Why wait for such a man that can't even write you a song? It's YOU I want to hold, of that I'm very clear; You are indeed the one that is to me most dear; You bring the best of me that I thought was not there Out for all to see... you're someone all too rare. But I don't have the strength to love you any more; I'll never be the man you need and was before; And you, the kindest lady I've e'er had chance to meet, I'm going to lose you, too... not sweep you off your feet. And you are right, of course - you've given me the chance So often, in my arms, to hug you and to dance; But you, quite rightly so, WON'T walk that extra mile And hug me, soft, yourself - and heal me with your smile. You are already gone - you've walked out of the door And walked out of my life, though smiling as before; I know I am mistaken, I know I've done you wrong, You need a real man, though - and here is my song. ****** Song Summary ************* Title: To Write A Love Song - 5 March 2020 File:To Write A Love Song - B - 5 March 2020.SGU Key=C , Tempo 85, Length (m:s)=3:11 No intro. 64 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 64. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Style is _HAZIEST.STY (Haziest Rocking Guitar Soloist) RealTracks in style: 1759:Bass, Electric, Pop16ths Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 875:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm NorthernRockFuzzyA-B Sw16 075 RealTracks in style: 3343:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HazyBalladChorus ev16 070 RealTracks in style: 3348:Guitar, Electric, Soloist HazyBallad ev16 070 RealDrums [in style:DrivingPop8ths^01-a:HiHat, Snare, b:Open Hat, Snare *******************
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Hi James, I DO like this a lot. Tugs at the heart strings. Levels seem fine to me
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Ja,es,
excellent backing and lyric.
Begs for a melody.
Your vocal recording is much improved.
REALLY excellent basis for your patter lyric but I reckon this'd be superb with a melody.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Nicely done - very poignant and heartfelt, and your spoken word delivery style works particularly well this with the instrumentation here. Great work and thanks for sharing 
Cheers,
Deryk
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Thanks rayc and Deryk! I agree, it would sound great with a melody, perhaps, but then it would probably need one of those rock voices 'a la Bon Jovi or something, which I simply don't have! hahaha. So ... I'll leave it like this for now? but THANKS again!!! :-)
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James,
A good lyric. A good backing track.
As ray said "Your vocal recording is much improved."
fj
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A melancholy but well done lyric.
Your voice sounds more resonant, full and "in the room."
Kudos
Enjoyed it!
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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James,
A good capture of your voice and it sits in the mix nicely.
Those are some achingly sad lyrics- which I like, and can`t help but hear a melody breaking through.
I enjoy your sincere spoken words; one day are you going to sing for us?
Robert
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Janice & Bud: thank you! Really appreciated that you took the time to listen and give me feedback. Yes, one day I will write a more upbeat song, haha ... one day :-) Robert: thanks for your kind comments! I did sing on songs I posted on here, a while ago, with what can only be described as mixed results, haha. But here's one song where I think I'm not slaughtering anyone with my voice, so to speak: https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/postcards-at-christmas . It's a Christmas song (i.e. not really the time of the year for it now!), but I do sing on it, so ... :-) Hope you like - and thanks again for listening and for your kind feedback!
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James,
Great song and great delivery... Love the arrangement and your voice sits very nicely in the mix.
Bob
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Thanks Bob, glad you liked it!!!
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Robert: thanks for your kind comments! I did sing on songs I posted on here, a while ago, with what can only be described as mixed results, haha. But here's one song where I think I'm not slaughtering anyone with my voice, so to speak: https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/postcards-at-christmas . It's a Christmas song (i.e. not really the time of the year for it now!), but I do sing on it, so ... :-) Hope you like - and thanks again for listening and for your kind feedback![/quote] James, I missed this one and glad you corrected me. You have a good singing voice I hope we`ll hear more of! Robert
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Thanks Robert - after years of being told in no uncertain terms that I can't sing ... whilst I know I'm no Luciano Pavarotti or anything, of course, it feels real good to hear this :-) Now that I've learned a little bit more about the effects one can do in post-recording production on one's own voice, too, hopefully I'll sing more :-) Cheers, you've made my day :-)
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How can I envy you, because you wrote a very cool and heartfelt song. It is a pity that it does not work out for me. I have already tried to use various writing techniques, but nothing works.
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Moanale: you're ever so kind about my song. Don't despair about writing a heartfelt song yourself, though. I promise you, it's not really about technique (though it's good to be able to move your way around chords, etc.) - but rather, once you do have enough technique to actually write, about what you feel in your heart.
What do you feel today? How was your day? What comes to mind if you are to write anything down? Just write it, whatever it is. Even if it's just about a toothache or something. It all counts :-) So long as it's sincere, it'll come through, I think!
Thanks again for your far too generous comments about my song - hope to see some of your own music on here!!! There's very little that's "right" or "wrong" in music, apart from the basics, of course ... so go for it, I would say :-) Best of luck!
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Moanale: you're ever so kind about my song. Don't despair about writing a heartfelt song yourself, though. I promise you, it's not really about technique (though it's good to be able to move your way around chords, etc.) - but rather, once you do have enough technique to actually write, about what you feel in your heart.
What do you feel today? How was your day? What comes to mind if you are to write anything down? Just write it, whatever it is. Even if it's just about a toothache or something. It all counts :-) So long as it's sincere, it'll come through, I think!
Thanks again for your far too generous comments about my song - hope to see some of your own music on here!!! There's very little that's "right" or "wrong" in music, apart from the basics, of course ... so go for it, I would say :-) Best of luck! Thank you very much for your support. I hope that something will work out for me because I have already started thinking about asking for help from someone who could help me write what you think about it?
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I think that's a wonderful idea! Trouble is, many people are very, very busy these days ... but if you can find someone who is happy to help and, crucially, has the time to do so - then you are very, very lucky! What do you need help with, specifically? I would be happy to help, myself, if time allows and if I can be of any use to you. Send me a Private Message if you want?
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Nicely done James!! That is somewhat of an unconventional backing track for a VoiceOver but it works well....maybe a touch loud though. Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg
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