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I thought there was a forum for song posts but I can't seem to find it. I apologize if this is the wrong place to post this. Please let me know if there is a better place. I wanted to get feedback on my first song with the software. I am not a musician so if you can think of better chords in any spots, please let me know. I am looking for feedback on all aspects of the song...lyrics, production, chord choices, etc. I don't have autotune so the vocal might be a bit pitchy in spots. Thanks for everyone's input. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8582099
Ricky
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Nothing to apologize for here, friend. I don't know where you get the idea you're not a musician. Do you mean you don't play an instrument? You've got some pretty advanced stuff going on there. The backing is great, the song tells a story and carries a lot of emotion. Doubly impressive for being a first effort.
R.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Ricky,
That is an EXCELLENT first attempt.
I like the progression, the arrangement & vocal.
Like Ryszard said, there's nothing to apologize for here, friend.
I can only imagine what you'll come up with in time.
Congratulations.
Mick
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Thanks for the kind words. You are too nice.
To answer your question Ryszard, I started "playing" guitar a year or so ago. No lessons really and no formal training. So no, I am not a musician. I write lyrics and sing the melody then spends days trying to figure out the chord changes. It used to take me months, so at least I am improving. I think this software will help that as well.
Thanks again for your support. Have a great night.
Ricky
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It’s all been said. Fantastic first attempt. Great chord progression and mix. Super vocal and outstanding lyrics.
You ARE a musician – period!
I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor.
It was the best game of Hungry Hippos I've ever seen!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Hey Ricky!
That's how I write music. Lots of people don't have music theory, but have lots in their head. Here's my critique of your song.
I like the first verse and chorus. I think the second should build a little with a more defined rhythm track.
In fact, this nice song would do without the weak strings, and with more power. You have written a wonderful country song, dude. Turn this into a power ballad. Let the song build to a crescendo. Emotionalize it.
You might want to write a bridge where the brief instrumental track runs. Just enough to lead back into the strong chorus.
Don't stop with this song. Polish it until it really jumps out and tears at the listener's heart.
I respect people who write original material, and my suggestions are only designed to help you see your song in a different way.
I hope you keep writing and sharing your songs with us. WTG!!!
Moo
If it has four legs and moos...it MIGHT be Mr Moohead.
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GREAT. KEEP ON TRUCKING. YOU WILL GET BETTER WITH EVERY SONG.
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Sounds good, Ricky.
Keep that humility. It can be heard in a song and overall is a Good Thing.
Keep on songwriting, too.
If this example is any indication, you've got a talent there.
--Mac
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Thanks to everyone. You have made me smile. :-)
Ricky
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Hey Moo - I agree with most of what you said. I couldn't figure out how to add more rhythm in the second verse and chorus without drums and I didn't like the sound of the drums with the strings. I probably could use a rhythm guitar instead of the drums but I am interested in your ideas first. Would rather have an instrumental solo as the bridge, but otherwise I am up for making the changes. Problem is, I don't have a clue what a power ballad means so I don't know what instrumental changes you are thinking of. Personally, the song right now doesn't fit with my personal style of songs I sing so making the changes you suggest sounds good. Let me know what you are thinking and I will try to make the changes.
Thanks again for your honest feedback.
Ricky
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Quote:
I thought there was a forum for song posts but I can't seem to find it. I apologize if this is the wrong place to post this. Please let me know if there is a better place.
I wanted to get feedback on my first song with the software. I am not a musician so if you can think of better chords in any spots, please let me know. I am looking for feedback on all aspects of the song...lyrics, production, chord choices, etc. I don't have autotune so the vocal might be a bit pitchy in spots.
Thanks for everyone's input.
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8582099
Ricky. If you'r no musician then I sure as heck ain't one either. 
You didn't name the song so I can only assume it's the first song. And I can say you did a great job on it.
Just a couple of things that will help you on this.
1. You bring the sad feeling in your voice perfectly. But sustain a few of the ending phrases with your vox.
2. Spread the instruments out better. Pan the instruments around wider.
You definitely have a Garth Brooks sound going on with the second one.
Did you write all these songs? Did you do all of them in BIAB?
Russ Anyday above ground is a good day Computer is Hp Pavillion Vision 6 Ghz quad core AMD processor 8 Gig memory 1 TB hard drive 6 GB hard drive Windows 7 Premium Loose nut behind the keyboard 
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Oh yeah. In aswer to your question of whether or not this is the forum for putting up your songs, yes it it. We all share on this forum. Even on some of the other forums too. Nobody objects if you do. But this is the forum we usually use. It would be nice if Pgmusic would give us a brag page to put our stuff up on. At least just to paste a link to our own pages.
I'm listening to all the stuff you've got on there. Nice guitar work and singing. You have a top quality voice. It's a versatile one as well. You can drift in and out of Garth Brooks easily. Your style and his both.
I think you ought to put all your guitar work to BIAB too. I assume you have Real Band too? Powert Tracks Pro? With those 3 tools you have it all, unless you want to get into big time recording which will require a more power set of tools. But most of us here don't need the high powered tools. The 3 I mentioned are plenty for what you're doing.
I hope we hear more from you. You are a talented song writer. You can tell good stories in your songs. You can express yourself very good.
Russ Anyday above ground is a good day Computer is Hp Pavillion Vision 6 Ghz quad core AMD processor 8 Gig memory 1 TB hard drive 6 GB hard drive Windows 7 Premium Loose nut behind the keyboard
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Hey Russ. Thanks for the helpful info.
I will spread the instruments out more. I purposely brought them in more because I thought it sounded 'weird' to have them out so far from the vocal but I can easily change that.
As for the vocal issue, do you mean at the very end of the song, or the ending phrases of each verse/chorus?
The link should have taken you to the page to only play the song 'I Lost My Friend'. I don't know how it took you to the page with the other songs.
Yes, I wrote all of the songs. I am pursuing being a country artist and am using BIAB to try top put together better demos than just me an my guitar. Basically it is pre-pre-production.
The second song, Girl In A Truck, was a pro demo done in Nashville. I still haven't gotten the lyrics on that one figured out. The other songs are either me playing or a guitarist who lives locally. If the guitar sounds good, it isn't me. :-)
Thanks again for your input. Feel free to chime in. I need all the help I can get.
Ricky
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqo0aVgKHRoListen to this song. It has all of the elements listed above. It grabs you, but it does it without treacly strings. It uses a steel guitar to achieve some accented sadness. The chorus stands out with more tracks and a more defined rhythm track. The second verse is a little more populated instrumentally than the first. The bridge builds back into the hook done quietly...then the rhythm track builds again. The song never gets boring, because the production always varies. It makes the chorus more memorable. Hope this helps. Moo
If it has four legs and moos...it MIGHT be Mr Moohead.
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Hi Ricky,
The thoughts that came out of the song were of pureness and sincerity. I would not touch the arrangement if they were the two things you were going for. You hit it on the head. The flow was very clean in that I mean it was not crowded with too many words, too many notes, or an overdone vocal employing eccessive techniques (whiny, twangy, vibratos), etc. It was a very pleasing song that conveyed a mood of sadness which loss naturally brings about.
Very good. Look forward to hearing more in the future.
RickeG
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There are a few ending phrases that would sound a tad better with the last word sustained. The rest you cut short and they sound good. But if you sustain your voice on 2 or 3 a bit it will give it a more pro sound. If this doesn't make sense then just leave it alone. It's very hard to get a point like that across internet.  BTW I sent you a PM.
Russ Anyday above ground is a good day Computer is Hp Pavillion Vision 6 Ghz quad core AMD processor 8 Gig memory 1 TB hard drive 6 GB hard drive Windows 7 Premium Loose nut behind the keyboard
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Brilliant song and excellent first work. Keep it up, you have a great talent! My Music My Blog
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Hello Ricky,
There are a million things you could do to this song..... But I think it's great the way it is!
OK a little tweak and polish maybe, but it sounds SINCERE! I'm hoping for your sake it isn't a personal account but I'm guessing it may well be.
For a first attempt this is most encouraging.... Well done buddy,
Regards,
Dave.
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Thanks again to everyone for your kind words.
Hey Moo. You picked one of my all-time favorite songs. I was in the middle of trying to make some of the changes and I started getting the BBW.EXE error that you mentioned earlier this week. Now I can't do anything with the song because it won't play. Did you ever get it figured out?
Thanks again everyone.
Ricky
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open it in Real Band. That's what I did!!!
Moooooooooooooooo
If it has four legs and moos...it MIGHT be Mr Moohead.
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