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#104953 02/08/11 02:45 PM
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Thought this might be an interesting topic if anyone has any views. Have you ever encountered rivalry between musicians or rather one musician doesn't like another (not because he is an unlikeable person or anything) but maybe because he feels intimidated because of his fellow musicians musical ability?

I have a mate that plays guitar who visits me often, has a great musical ear, and plays fairly well, always picks up the guitar when he comes here and plays something which I always compliment him on. However if I pick up the guitar (and I play ok but not outstanding or anything) he usually never listens always talks over it to someone else in the house about something else. Even when I play him one of my songs in biab (he's not the slightest bit interested in computer music or computers) he just makes a comment along the lines of “ah that’s just your typical musical style"

He'll never admit to be able to learn from other people, and talks about giving other guitarists "lessons" To be honest I would actually have no trouble sitting in a near beginner’s guitar class if I thought I would learn something.

Just wondering if anyone has met similar people in their travels?

musiclover

Last edited by musiclover; 02/08/11 02:47 PM.
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It seems to me that what you describe is not limited to musicians. There are people in all walks of life and at all levels of ability or training who are:
humble
snobs
keen
depressed
depressing
dismissive
complimentary
excitable
exciting
teachers (real onws, not "wannabes")
perpetual students
innovativors
emulators
disinterested
extroverted
introverted
self centred
encouraging
etc..

However it does seem that the arts often attracts people from the extremes of most character types.


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I have seen this behavior in a few musicians whom I would call insecure.


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I have a friend who i play with sometimes, who likes to sit and play every song he can think of, but never listens to one i play all the way through. If I play a song for him he will pretend to listen, but start playing something else, or act disinterested, or something. If I play a BiaB song or something with backing tracks he will make a comment about how sad it is you can generate or program a song. Nothing is real to him but playing some old song on the 6 string. I asked him to play with me once at a party, and he change the song we practiced before hand while we were sitting htere and played another tune i had no idea how to play along with. Right there with folks all sitting around listening. needless to say he was not invited the next time. I really like the guy as a friend but an evening of guitar playing is an evening of doing it his way the whole time. No give or take.


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I've found that, when moving to a new area (especially to a non-big city), some musicians will resent a "new kid on the block." They've got their little "big fish - small pond" thing going on, and they're insecure.

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Quote:

Just wondering if anyone has met similar people in their travels?

musiclover




Yes, they are called jerks!


I think my wife has started to show the first signs of dementia.
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!

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more great groups have been destroyed by "ego" than anything else, in my opinion. there always seems to be one who, irrespective of talent or management ability, insists on running the show to the detriment of the whole. my experience has been that musicians are temperamental "artistes" who don't respond well to that personality type, thus rivalry is bred. my son is a very talented musician but can't keep a band together because of his big ego and intimidation tactics. he has to be "boss."

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Yes Matt, and sometimes I have to face such situation with some other guitarists or even some problematic student. They used to be of that obsessed and insecure type who are in a constant concern trying to learn ultra advanced techniques or imitating the feats of some guitar super hero. Also is funny when someone takes a completely contrary attitude, when a proficient musician play some eye catcher thing, then the 'challenged' musician begin to spit a lot of praise comments and adulation, in a very unnatural and exaggerated way: "OMG, you are amazing, I've always said you are a musical promise for our country, what a pride is to have the friendship of a genius like you...bla bla etc.." then you find out the guy talked about with everyone in a scornful way.



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If you haven't seen "Jazz Robots", go to You Tube and check them out. Lots of funny stuff. Later, Ray


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I used to run into the "rivalry" thing after I started playing flatpicking contests, especially after I'd won a few. I'd run into guitarists who'd say they wanted to pick together, when in reality they wanted to duel with guitars.

That didn't happen with folks who played other instruments besides the guitar. They just wanted to play.

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There might be another explanation - some people are "controlling".

I have a long time friend that will call me to chat - as long as he's doing the talking the chat will last for a long time. When I start talking about something, it's soon time for him to go.

I've known for a long time that he's a controlling person, and this is just another manifestation of that type of behaviour.

Glenn

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Yea I'm getting this here. The big fish little pond thing and to make matters worse I'm a "one man Band".AND very jealous cause I'm playing two nights a week a the local hot spots.The reality is these guys are not very good and the place can't support Bands on Tues & Wed. evenings.


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Quote:

"OMG, you are amazing, I've always said you are a musical promise for our country, what a pride is to have the friendship of a genius like you...bla bla etc.." then you find out the guy talked about with everyone in a scornful way.




Here in the Los Angeles area we refer to that as "Joe Hollywood". Everybody in Hollywood is always telling you you're the greatest, oh yeah you're going to be in my next project for sure, don't worry I'll call you tomorrow, etc. etc and then in his next breath to his girlfriend it's "what a bunch of losers".
The running joke with my musician friends is the "Christmas party in Malibu". Over 10 years ago we were playing at a nice restaurant and were approached by a sharp Hollywood looking guy with supposed heavyweight industry conections telling us all that crap about how great we are and he wants to book us at some huge record producer's mansion in Malibu for Christmas. Of course nothing happened so for years when I would call one of the guys it would be, "did you book that Christmas party in Malibu yet?". Ha, Ha, Ha....

Bob


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