There is no why for day to day things. The good book clearly says "time and unseen occurance befall all men". Stuff just happens, the question is not why, but What! What to do! What to do with each day. Live it, feel it, touch it, and love it.

When we go through deeply painful experiences, like losing a spouse, child, or parent, we lose a piece of ourselves. The remaining parts hurt for that loss. Nothing will heal this except time.

God does not try us, we try ourselves. You, our dear friend, will heal. Mac's quote of Sir Edmund Hillary was priceless, keep taking first steps after a while you will look back and you will have traveled a long ways.

One thing that pushes me onward, is the understanding the God does not take away our pains, any more than he gives them, rather he gives the strength, courage, and faith to endure them.

What you are experiencing is very normal, and expected. Keep stepping, keep breathing. It seems to me that you and your dear wife had a very good relationship, she must have loved you very much, as you did her. I bet you viewed her as warm, loving, caring, and wise. If that was true then know this, that love and wisdom helped her to love and value you. Honor that love and wisdom, and fill your life with good things, honor her, by ascribing value to your life, and live it fully.

We are all here pulling for you, and offering encouragement. You RB buddy, Rob

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