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I had to stop playing when my wife's health got to the point that I couldn't leave her. And then the last member of the family, my dog Lucy, took a turn for the worse as well and I've been caring for her. Today I performed the last act of kindness for her and sent her off to be with my wife and other dog Norton. Now I'm totally alone and in deep despair.I hope to try & slowly crawl out of the hole but it's a tough journey alone.Getting back out playing will be my first step. Can you say "the straw that's breaking the camel's back"?
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Get yourself a new puppy companion.
Now.
--Mac
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Mac hit the nail on the head!
We had three Shih Tzus. My wife’s favorite died and she was in a big funk, even though she still had the two. She had always said that someday she would like a black and white one. So I bought her a little black and white Shih Tzu puppy. It brought her out of her funk.
My only advise is to get one that is not identical to the one you just lost. That may bring back to many memories.
Life is short so make sure you spend as much time as possible on the Internet arguing with strangers.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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John,
my heart truly breaks for you my friend. I understand to some extent what you are going through. Thoughtfully consider the things I said in today's PM. Disaster has the power to smack us when we're weak or tired or both... but it doesn't have the power to stay.
You're in my thoughts and prayers John.
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Quote:
Get yourself a new puppy companion.
Now.
--Mac
+1
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What Mac and Mario said. Get a puppy that depends on you for everything. That will help you to forget as well.
You have my sympathy.
A truism is: "The finest steel must first pass through the fire!" You, my friend, have passed through it.
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Definitely, what they said: a new puppy -- something gently playful and huggable. And many hugs and songs for you as well, my friend. You're not alone -- we're here for you.
Best, Tom SmithWin10/64 • i7-8700K • 24 GB RAM BIAB 2026 • Reaper 7.57 • Izotope MPS AKG C1000S • IK iRig I/O Pro
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Quote:
Get yourself a new puppy companion.
Now.
--Mac
Not yet as much as I would like to.This has completed the total turning upside down & inside out of my life.My love for all animals is too great for me not to first make sure I can take care of them in the manner they deserve.
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Well, maybe there's a local humane society where you can go get a puppy fix. There are services that bring animal companions to you for limited times, so you get to play with them and don't have to take care of them 24/7. There's a storefront in a mall up in Brighton (about 20 miles from Ann Arbor) that is specifically for you to go in and play with puppies and kittens. And they're usually staffed by very friendly and sympathetic people, with whom you can talk and smile.
Best, Tom SmithWin10/64 • i7-8700K • 24 GB RAM BIAB 2026 • Reaper 7.57 • Izotope MPS AKG C1000S • IK iRig I/O Pro
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We're pulling for you, John.
BIAB 2026 Win Audiophile. Software: Fender Studio One 8, Swam horns, Acoustica-7, Notion 6, Song Master Pro, Win 11 Home. Hardware: Intel i9, 32 Gb; Fender Quantom HD8 & Faderport 8, Royer 121, Adam Sub8 & Neumann 120 monitors.
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John,
I understand your point about wanting to ensure it has proper care for good. Consider this, if you still have good mobility, consider raising a leader dog pup of some type. You don't necessarily have to take them through the program entirely. Many of the organizations need people just like yourself to give the pup the love and attention they need, until a certain age, when they will be given over to the professional trainer.
If you are within an hour or two of a major metro area, there is probably at least one organization that you can contact about this. Send me a PM and I can try to help you look - but you are a sharp guy and no doubt can figure out where to look on your own.
-Scott
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I agree with the above with one small caveat. Not a pup. Your local shelter is likely FILLED with 7-8 year old dogs that need someone to keep company through their last 5-6 years. I have had nothing BUT rescue dogs and I believe 100% that know that they are getting a second chance and they try harder and harder to please their new master. I got Scruff at 6 months and to watch her grow and learn and take training was the most rewarding thing I have experienced. (And I have KIDS!)
When Twiggy, my Wheaten Terrier, died in 2006, I was dead set against getting another dog. I had all the reasons written down. A dog ties you down. A dog is a big expense. A dog takes a lot of my time. My dear friend Joni was over one day and she grabbed me by the shoulders, all 96 pounds of her, and shook me and said "GO GET A *&!^@%#$^ DOG ALREADY!! There are dogs in that shelter that need YOU. And you will be better off for it. Where do you go anyway that a dog is going to tie you down?"
So we went to the shelter, I found this perfect little Jack Russell mix, and 5 1/2 years later, she is curled up next to me on the couch snoring.
And that shelter is now beneficiary of my life insurance and benefactor of whatever money can be made at my estate sale when I am gone. They have given me now 4 of the best friends I ever had and I will pay them back when it's time to go.
Now only you will know when your heart is ready, and don't do it too soon. Also remember that the new dog is not the old dog in a new dog suit. I almost made that mistake. This one has pretty much become that one anyway. I mean, I trained her the same way with the same commands, so it had to be.
Your time will come, and you will know it.
My heart goes out to you on this day, but you can be at peace in your heart knowing you did what was right for the dog. Too many people keep ailing dogs alive for themselves, and that is selfish and the ultimate act of cruelty. I commend you for being able to let go and keeping the dog's welfare first.
Hang in there.
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I echo everything that has been said John. Sometimes we deliberately avoid cliche's because they're well, cliche's. Nothing new there, move on etc. Many times they're cliche's because they're true and this is one of those.
One of many organizations here in LA is called the Amanda Foundation. It's run out of several vet's offices. They rescue dogs from the shelters and keep them until they're adopted. Doesn't matter how long that takes. We got a beautiful 6 month old blonde shelty terrier mix 18 years ago and named her Mandy. Like you I had to put Mandy down two years ago at about 16 1/2. My lady couldn't do it, I had to. She didn't want another dog until we were having brunch last year at a nice hotel at the beach with outside seating. Next to us was a table of about 6 people and 3 or 4 dogs. We started chatting and it turns out one lady was a vet who owned a clinic right in our neighborhood and she said one of the staff had a very nice female jack russell she had to get rid of because she already had 5 dogs. Well guess what we now have Peanuts, all 10 pounds of her. She's not Mandy(and every time I see her picture I miss her), they're completely different but a real sweetheart in her own right. You know this John, they have a way of getting to you, just give them the chance.
And, post here a lot. Please email me if you want to chat. Most of us here are old enough that we've all suffered personal tragedies but to lose your soul mate is the worst right next to losing a child. We got through it and you will too. It's good that you're comfortable enough with us to post your plea here. You know you will be treated with respect and compassion. Keep posting.
Bob
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John.
You've got lots of good advice here and the only thing I can add is to get back to playing as soon as possible. It would be a shame to see those splendid PA rigs of yours just gather dust.
Why not try to add in a few new songs, which will get you working and give you something else to focus on? Music's obviously been a big part of your life and perhaps now it could be the thing to help you pull through.
At the end of the day, it should be reassuring that you've got so many good friends here who you can reach out to when things get tough.
All the best, ROG.
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John,
As you know, I'm not too far away in NC. If you get any gigs anywhere near Winston Salem and you don't want to drive home late at night after the gig, you are welcome to stay here anytime. For that matter, you are welcome to LIVE here if you don't mind my daughter bossing us both around.
Dog-wise, my situation is the opposite of yours. My wife had a sheltie that I won't be able to care for properly, because I work 12 hour days, and it isn't fair to keep him penned up all day. I've been looking at sheltie adoption services. If you're even remotely interested, he's yours.
He's very smart. Get him a hammer with a velcro handle that sticks to his paw, and I bet he'd build his own kennel. He's about 3 years old.
I can send you a list of local places that pay for live music if you're interested (may need some updating... places like that tend to come and go)
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John, I am thinking about you and wishing you the best.
Dan
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John,
I agree with Rog that music (as well as your pets) has been and still is a HUGE part of your life. There have been many times in my life that music has "carried" me away to another place when things have been rough. Its the one thing that will always be there for you and never desert you. Your talent is meant to be shared with all of us. You were one of the first forum members to respond to my questions when I was getting started with BB/Realband. I wish you the best and urge you to dig in and turn your current situation into music that will touch everyone.
Todd
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Do you find it to be true that anybody who would ever say "It's only a dog" has never had a dog?
What a stupid, insensitive thing to say, yet I hear it all the time. I can't imagine life without my dog. I get joy from her every day.
And John, you will experience that joy again soon!
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I just got a lab (yellow) 8 week old female. Very therapeutic. We went for a drive yesterday and it was warm, I had the windows down, she was sitting calmly on my knee. I realized I sat through two left turn cycles because I was just petting her and didn't care about anything else.
If anyone was behind me I would have got the horn, but oh well.
I'm with the other guys in this. I'm rearranging the house so she can't get at kleenex, and I'm making little beds, buying pull toys, and spoiling her the best I can.
I vote for a puppy too. Takes up lots of time. I got lucky, somehow she's trained, though I did use what tricks I knew. Got up at 4 a.m. to go outside though, and my wife was unhappy because I had her on the bed beside me, but as soon as she calms down, she gets down on the towel bed beside me and goes to sleep.
The first day we had to have a shower together, I think leaving mom and 5 other puppies was scary. But labs and water. I'll try and figure out how to post a picture, I once knew.
When I play the piano she sits with her head on my foot, going up a down with the pedal, and fell so hard asleep after my dozen times through "They can't take that away from me...", that she's still there and hour after I quit, sound asleep by the pedal, after I extracted my foot.
When she gets up I'm sure she's going to continue to try and take my shoe off to play with it. That was funny.
Yup, a puppy was what I needed, got her Sunday. I'm smiling and taking pictures. My grandson told her she's to call me papa john, that was also a very funny moment. He asked her if she liked some cartoon on TV too. A 3 year old and a puppy will cure anything.
Fionn and Honey.
John Conley
Musica est vita
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John, if you need someone to come by, I'll figure out a way. Things get better when you let them. I'm trying to start a Rock Orchestra called the Nannies and the Papas. Some karaoke with my playing along, All the Leaves are Brown, Stout hearted men. Sing along karaoke every second song or so. Stuff to leave the place singing. Thinking about having lyrics, charts, kar files, a projector, and charging 2 bucks, mandatory drink purchase, (could be coke). Split the buck between the bar and me, with some consideration based on sales. And the concept would be mine, I could leave if it got too popular. I found out that a local seniors care group was talking about places to take them. Willing to pay 7 bucks a person. They even come with care givers. That's a thought, just make the music 'older'. Lots of stuff around, just find a niche. Maybe from what you've been through volunteering at a hospice or somewhere to share your experiences would be an idea. I can make it in a day I'm sure... Just give me a pm. What kind of bbq do you go for, the local joint has a crazy S. Carolina sauce. It's some weird made from a whack of vinegar. We could go out and pick up some chicks. You always hope they sexed them right. Otherwise you get hassled when that rooster starts up at dawn. Building a hen house is fun. 
John Conley
Musica est vita
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Last Chance! The Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® Special Ends Today (May 31, 2026) at 11:59pm PDT!
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- RealDrums Stems Set 10: Groovin' Sticks
- SynthMaster Sounds & Styles Set 2 (sounds & styles with audio demos)
Learn more about the Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®!
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