When I made my suggestions to CONSIDER removing prepositions, that was what it was - suggestions to consider. Read/sing through without. If it still flows and has the intended meaning, then it might be worth removing them.

My suggestions come from others looking at my lyrics in the past and making similar suggestions. In almost every case, the editor's suggestions for deletion improved the flow and raised the impact of the line(s).

Here's an example of what I recall from one of my songs, "View from Mulholland"

Final version of the first verse ( I think - I recorded this song back in 2005 and it was one of the first where I had gone in front of an editor(s) to critique the lyrics):

"Above the City of Angels on this ribbon I ride,

The Golden Web of Edison stretched long on every side.

Looking sideways at the stars and jeweled threads hanging in the air,

I pause to think what You must feel and if I really care."


Pre-edit (if I recall correctly - it's been many years since I wrote that song):

"Above the City of Angels on a asphalt ribbon that I ride

A Golden Web of Edison is cast long out to every side.

I'm looking sideways at the stars and some jeweled threads hanging in the air,

I pause to think of what You must feel and if I can really care."


The words that have been removed/replaced were described to me at that time by somebody as 'tripping stones', messing with the lyrical flow and didn't add necessarily to the meaning. In some cases, the lines are now more vague - leaving more to the imagination of the listener. Sometimes becoming more vague can have greater impact, sometimes not.

This song might only resonate with people that have driven Mulholland Drive up on the ridge of the Hollywood Hills in LA area at night. Even then, the thoughts that were part of my first time in LA environs were all centered on the thronging mass of humanity from all far flung corners of the earth that have chosen or had it chosen for them to make Los Angeles their home; AND if God does exist, how does he know each and every one of us/them?

Making more vague references rather than a direct statement of detailed thought - including the removal of some object words, prepositions, etc. hopefully opens the lyrics up to contemplation more than stating directly what my thoughts were which were this:

I'm driving on Mulholland drive in the Hollywood Hills.
I can see lights in a grid for many miles in both directions.
I'm at a high enough elevation that I don't have to look up to see the stars - I can look 'across' and see stars in the distance, both real stars in the sky, and probably the homes of some media stars below.
I can see a line of airplanes coming in to and leaving LAX that looks like a moving thread with jewels hanging off the thread, suspended and moving in space.
How the heck does God keep track of all these people? Would I care to keep track of even one of them?

If you want to take a listen to that song, I'm pretty sure it's on my SoundCloud page. It's a spacey-reverby-delayed thing with very little rhythmic background. It's also available here, with the lyrics as sung in the song and a production technique description - I wanted to share that part of how the song was created because I learned how to get the spacey sound just prior to writing that song from a guy that I've never met, but have collaborated with many times over the past 10 years. I owe him quite a bit for helping me release my inner 'Eno'. http://rockstarnot.rekkerd.org/vfmstory.html

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