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Well this was something of a challenge for me as, to be honest, I don’t particularly like the blues (heads turn away in shock/disgust…) so I guess this is more blues ‘lite’ or blues/pop if you prefer. With the lyric, it just can’t be anything remotely upbeat or even hopeful (else it wouldn’t be the blues, right) but I hope I got the story across OK in only 3 verses. And no, I don’t know the end of the story either! As usual, I’d be grateful for all your thoughts and comments. http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=7528866&q=hi
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Hi marc,
The link seems to be missing something. When I click on it, it takes me to http://www.soundclick.com/default.cfm.
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Quote:
Hi marc,
The link seems to be missing something. When I click on it, it takes me to http://www.soundclick.com/default.cfm.
Noel
Same here
OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Quote:
... to be honest, I don’t particularly like the blues ...
Maybe the music is "bluesy", but the lyric delivery isn't -- so what you have here is a mismatching of the musical background and the vocal line. I'd scrap the music and come up with something that you are more comfortable with and like.
Kevin
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"Never mind the answer, what's the question?"
Forget the blues as such. Do the lyrics have meaning to you, and does the musical setting seem appropriate to you?
I found something in the vocal reminiscent of Elvis Costello. I happen to think the music fits what you're trying to do. Could be punched up, sure, but genre is not the issue.
We've discussed vocals elsewhere. Your delivery lacks force. The best thing you can do is to really belt it out. Concentrate on your breathing so that you're not running out of breath at the end of a line. There were spots where you were singing above your range, too; find those and change the notes. Then let's hear some emotion and conviction behind the performance!
Double the vocals several times too. Don't worry about harmony or tricks with panning. It will help smooth out the track and make you simplify the part as you try to duplicate your performance a couple of times, all to the good.
HTH,
R.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Ryszard's comments are better than mine.
Kevin
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I love the music. To me, the melody line was a different meter than the music. You could say,
I was sitting (down beat) or rest
on the train. . .
Watching the r..a..i..n.. . fall. . .
bam, bam,.. at the e..n..d.. of the d..a..y....
It's hard to write, but the (. . .) is like holding the word out longer, kind of.
Or,
I (!/8 note)
was (1/8 note)
sitting (1/4, 1/4 notes)
I think the phrasing could fit that music, it is good.
Gene
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I agree that the genre should not be an issue, after all, labeling everything makes music into a bore, a repetition of the same old thing over and over. Therefore I believe that the style of singing/lyrics could be fitted on a blues, or any other style. The trick is to make it fit to eachother. In this case, the voice being too weak doesn't help judging it. As Ryszard allready said, there is a bit more convincing and stronger singing needed there.
I hardly would describe this as a (standard) blues, but as I also said, a style is just style and should not be restricted and with that limiting the creative thinking. I feel if you would sing it more powerful, you would allready be more convincing that the style and vocal CAN go together.
As far for the music, I think it sounds a bit thin. More base and a little more low end in the instruments, would not hurt...
A rough scetch that needs still quite some polishing, but it is a start. And it is a bit different too, which I think makes it a good thing.
I'll be back...
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Hi Marc,
Thanks for posting the updated link.
I enjoyed listening to your song. There's a good, strong sense of musicianship present in all aspects of it. The song's well crafted. I'm not sure if you think of it as 12/8 or as 4/4 with a triplet feel. I hear it as 12/8 but it's probably easier for me to talk about it as 4/4 with triplets.
These are my impressions that I jotted down as I listened the first time through.
1. Great opening. The intro really sets the tone for the whole piece.
2. Verses: I can clearly hear the triplet feel in the melody. I like it. At times, though, this melodic rhythm seems to fight the accompaniment rhythm. In reality, however, you have everything 100% musically correct. The fact that this aural confusion exists, really got me thinking. As I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that this listening confusion exists because of the guitar (?) coming in on beats 2 and 4 playing the first two notes of the triplets on those beats. This guitar sound is very much in the foreground and dominates the music. It draws attention to it. The drums and the bass are also very quiet by comparison. In my experience, drums and bass are important anchors for beat 1. The net result of the bass, drums and guitar is that I think my brain started to associate beats 1 and 3 with the guitar rather than the 2 and 4 which it is. This had the effect of shifting the melody off-beat to my ears. If this was my song, what I'd play around with is to bring the drums and bass up in volume, and drop the guitar back a little, so that beat 1 becomes much more obvious to the listener. I find myself wondering if this would make the song more enjoyable to sing to as well.
3. Instrumental sections: Despite what you say about not liking the blues, you have a good feel for the style.
These are just my thoughts and I'm passing them on for what they are worth.
Thanks for sharing your work. I really appreciate the opportunity to listen to other BIAB'er's music.
Kind regards,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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It's a nice tune. Unique sound. I think if you follow the advice above you are on your way.
I'd sing it over and over till you get more relaxed with the tune. Then record it over.
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I’m really grateful to all of you for these comments.
Kevin – can’t accuse you of not speaking your mind !!
What I might to is build up an alternative instrumental only version of this. Scrap the lyric, in your terms !
The thing is on my CD (8 tracks already completed now) I wanted a bit of everything…a rock-tinged one, a reggae-tinged one etc. So this is the bluesy one.
Rys (and others). You’re quite right. Vocally I’m not comfortable at all with the song yet. The take here is probably only the 3rd or 4th time I’ve sung it. I guess I should have waited before posting.
Thanks for that Gene. The meter pattern is deliberate. I don’t think I’ve broken my cardinal rule, which is to maintain the stress pattern dictated by meaning, rather than the music. (bowie always does this and it drives me mad - )
Ab – that sounds like good advice. It’s always good to whack the bass up !
Noel, I wanted to keep the echos of those gtr chops audible (having spent the best part of a day configuring them to follow the timing of the triplets). That’s why the rthm gtr track is so loud. And I don’t think you can really hear those shadows anyway. Oh well…
I like these comments because they converge on the same points, which doesn’t always happen..
Stay tuned for take 2 in the near future and (ed who I haven’t mentioned yet ! all the others), thanks again.
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Quote:
I like these comments because they converge on the same points, which doesn’t always happen..
That means you have a clear, if not fully realized, vision, and that collectively we get it. Stay with it, Marc!
R.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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" maintain the stress pattern dictated by meaning, rather than the music."
Profound.
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As threatened, I'm back with a revised version.. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7528866I have sought to beef up the bass and have rerecorded the vox, trying to get a more in control and powerful feel. THanks again for your comments, Marc
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Much more even. You are clearly more comfortable with it now. The last vocal phrase still sounds strained, though. It sounds like something from a French film I saw recently. (Wasabi? I'll give it a shufti.) Anyway, I like it.
Something subtle is needed to bring the voice out of the background a bit. Not just turning it up; a hint of compression if you haven't already, another hint of slap echo, hardly audible, could help it 'cut' some more. Nice work.
R.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Hi Marc I agree with Ryszard that something needs to bring the vocal out. Not necessarily added but "taken away". I find the vocal losing out to an over-powering organ which goobles up the vocal frequencies. I'm no expert at "frequency carving" (creating sonic space for the vocal frequencies by dropping out the competing frequencies from the organ) - but I have found some good articles on a net search. IMHO - I like the organ voice but after the intro I would pull it down behind the voice for at least the first verse and fade it back up during the choruses to give the song a push/dynamics. With my hearing I can't clearly make out what the vocals are saying. . .and they are your story. Sometimes when I run into this problem, I start over mixing with drums and bass balance, then vocal - if the percussion and vocals can carry the song, then fill in with the other instruments. The other thing is that the more familiar you are with the lyrics, the more they tend to get buried in the mix. Are you going to be posting the CD when it's done, or just snippets of each cut? This mixing business is really stressful. Thanks for posting - it helps us all. Cheers 
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I'm back again (ha, ha)! One thing to really look at closely is the percussionist. Most blues songs (even jazzbrush styles) really depend on the drummer to lay down a strong rhythmic foundation. To my ears, the percussionist is just sitting on top of the tune. I want to hear a bass drum or snare giving me something to tap my foot to. Improve that and the song will be light years further along (and will be infinitely easier to sing to).
Kevin
Last edited by Kemmrich; 04/23/09 06:36 AM.
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Marc, pay attention to the remarks about the vocal, especially the one about that Rock Organ MIDI patch fighting for the same frequencies as the voice here.
A different MIDI patch might be all it takes. Another organ or strings or pad or something like that.
And Compressor plugin (pgdynamics) on the vocal track.
--Mac
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I'm back (again) with re-recorded vocals - as suggested by many of you. Have to agree with you Rys - sounds more assured to my ears. Will try to get a pal of mine who is a drummer to take this further. Thanks, all http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7528866(play in hi-fi mode)
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