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Trust me. It'll happen. You're too old to play gigs when:1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp. 2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom. 3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m. 4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub. ... 5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list. 6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie. 7. You lost the directions to the gig. 8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings. 9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage. 10. You feel like heck before the gig even starts. 11. The waitress is your daughter! 12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers. 13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats. 14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case. 15. You refuse to play without earplugs. 16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30. 17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig. 18. Your gig stool has a back. 19. You're related to at least one member in the band. 20. You don't let anyone sit in. 21. You need a nap before the gig. 22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early. 23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down. 24. You prefer a music stand with a light. 25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon. 26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever 27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor. 28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location. 30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it! 31. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids. 32. The set list has to be in 20 point type.. 33. Your drug of choice is now coffee 34. It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.' Personal note: A few of these apply to me, but I'll never stop gigging as long as people will listen 
Bob "Notes" Norton  Norton Music
https://www.nortonmusic.com
100% MIDI Super-Styles recorded by live, pro, studio musicians for a live groove
& Fake Disks for MIDI and/or RealTracks
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It becomes important to find a place on stage with easy access to the restroom
Lenovo YOGA 900 Window s 10 Home 64bit M4 pro Mac mini 1tb HD 24GB mem casio wk7500 presonus audiobox i2 usb interface
casio wk-7500
biab & realband 2025 everything pk both with Current builds
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It becomes important to find a place on stage with easy access to the restroom
Good one! And you don't wear your hat or toupee anymore because many of the audience members don't have any hair either.
Bob "Notes" Norton Norton Music
https://www.nortonmusic.com
100% MIDI Super-Styles recorded by live, pro, studio musicians for a live groove
& Fake Disks for MIDI and/or RealTracks
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Joined: Nov 2008
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"You have to take the Citrus County Bus to the gig."
Thank God, with all my equipment...
Well, this was a list where I can attest to all the scenes described!
Yamaha...Motif ES-8, Motif Rack, CS6X
Korg...Karma,Triton Classic, PA-80, M-1+
AkaiSampler-S5000, Roland.. X5080 Rack/G-1000 Arranger
Various Guitars/Basses Amps Pedals Rec.Equip.
Plus, BIAB 2015 and Sonar Platinum 2015 Upgrade from Cakewalk's Sonar X-3
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You need to sleep all afternoon before a gig
You want warm milk rather than beer or spirits
you're worried you're too loud
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If the band’s starting time is the same as your bedtime you might be too old to gig!
My wife had her driving test today.
She got 8 out of 10.
The other 2 jumped out of the way!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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...Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom. Or, how about if no one in your audience knows who George Burns or Dolly Parton is? Bob
Biab/RB latest build, Win 11 Pro, Ryzen 5 5600 G, 512 Gig SSD, 16 Gigs Ram, Steinberg UR22 MkII, Roland Sonic Cell, Kurzweil PC3, Hammond SK1, Korg PA3XPro, Garritan JABB, Hypercanvas, Sampletank 3, more.
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Or when the audience members ask, "Who is that Justin Beaver person I heard about?"
Bob "Notes" Norton Norton Music
https://www.nortonmusic.com
100% MIDI Super-Styles recorded by live, pro, studio musicians for a live groove
& Fake Disks for MIDI and/or RealTracks
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You mention the Beatles and the audience yells "WHO!!!"
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You have to have the monitors louder than the mains.
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your ax weighs more then your doctor allows you to carry
Last edited by pghboemike; 08/02/13 08:25 AM.
Lenovo YOGA 900 Window s 10 Home 64bit M4 pro Mac mini 1tb HD 24GB mem casio wk7500 presonus audiobox i2 usb interface
casio wk-7500
biab & realband 2025 everything pk both with Current builds
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Hey, finally a fun thread.
You're to old to gig when:
You can't remember what c.r.s. stands for.
Someone makes a request and you can't remember the song.
You have to start using charts and you panic when you can't find them to take to the gig.
You're a brass player and your lips are now 1/3rd the size of what they used to be.
Cornet Curmudgeon
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Wow some of those really hit home.
Re: audiences, I introduced "All My Loving" by the Beatles but with a different arrangement at a gig just this afternoon, and I could overhear a few people saying "I never heard of it".
With this said I am thinking of just telling my audiences that I wrote all of these songs they never heard of.
Great thread!
Later,
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You mention the Beatles and the audience yells "WHO!!!" And if you played a song by “The Who”, they’d say “who?!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htz9CS-Zmms
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Did you mean, "Who's on bass?" --- When you want to introduce the members of the band to the audience, but you can't remember their names
Bob "Notes" Norton Norton Music
https://www.nortonmusic.com
100% MIDI Super-Styles recorded by live, pro, studio musicians for a live groove
& Fake Disks for MIDI and/or RealTracks
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I thought Idunno was on 3rd
I do not work here, but the benefits are still awesome
Make your sound your own!
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