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Originally Posted By: boehm
Hi Floyd,

this is another one of the stories you can tell so
beautifully and that I like so much.
Details on the production can be found in Greg's post.
He forgot the wonderful Biabettes though.

Guenter

Thanks, Guenter - appreciate your support, as always. I don't use the BIABettes as much as I used to, but they do a great job on Oooohs...


Originally Posted By: JosieC
Excellent! Excellent on absolutely all fronts Floyd

Joanne - appreciate that...

tommyad #257009 07/21/14 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
We'd pick our favorite line and quote it here....but given that it would be the whole song it would be long and redundant to do that!

This one is extraordinary even given the context of your "high bar." I'd love to visit the top of that bar for a few minutes and see what it's like :-)

There's not a slack nano second in this song -- not in the lyric, not in the melody, not in the vocals, not in the RT choices and not in the mix or the mastering. Magnificent!!

Janice and Bud

Geez, guys... what can I say to that? You are most kind!


Originally Posted By: tommyad
floyd, Let me start with what I don't like about this song. Nothing. From back to front -super ending. I still have trouble with that. Loved the oohs. Ooh yeah! Nice editing on the steel and Brent Mason. The vocal and the write are top notch as always. That acoustic sounds killer. What kind of a guitar and are you using the AT mic? The mix is great. Only someone who has devoted the better part of his life doing this could come up with the little tricks in the beginning to grab ahold of the listener. The extra beat on the hold before the singing and the way the bass enters along with the kick are nuances that come with experience. Always a pleasure to see what the mind of floyd jane comes up with next. I'm convinced this is the best place to find fresh and interesting music. Much better than the radio. Tom

Tom - I do appreciate all the nice comments. The guitar is the one you see to the left in my avatar. A Yamaha FG-500. Had it since '73 - 40 years... Yamaha only made them for a couple of years - their attempt to compete with Martin - which they could not, so they gave it up. I would NEVER give it up. I have a Takamine, too - but I never play it. It is, in fact, recorded thru the AT4033a (20 years old - a workhorse)..

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Floyd,

Good story and story telling. Your production is top notch.


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Floyd,
Loved it. Great song.
SD

dani48 #257155 07/22/14 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted By: gruverider
Super lyrics! Just love 'em! Great imagery, and story-telling.

And I enjoy the changes in the chord progression and melody.

much enjoyed!

Oh yeah, I love the intro too!

Lawrence - I appreciate the nice comments. Thanks....


Originally Posted By: robsmusic
Another great song and great recording!

Thanks, Rob...
Originally Posted By: dani48
Hi, Floyd !:))


I do not find words for this !
Somehow there´s not enough
superlatives for this !!!

Your number one for the moment !

Cheers
Dani

LOL - appreciate it, Dani...

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Hi Floy..

We started listing what we liked about this song. We quickly realized we were bankrupted the English language of its superlative adjectives. We think the last time you posted a less than stellar song ... Jesus was still a carpenter!

As everyone has already said ...everything about this is top shelf. And what a great lyrical concept! You never fail to amaze us in the most pleasant ways!

SPLENDID!!!

Alan & Di


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SpaceDog #257234 07/23/14 06:37 AM
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Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Great country song. Nice job too on the recording and production.

I hope that guy lives out....way out in the country since he's shooting into the sky...... ;-)

Herb - Appreciate that. Thanks. Well, yeah...way out...it is country, after all...

Originally Posted By: JimFogle
Floyd,

Good story and story telling. Your production is top notch.

Jim - Thanks for taking the time to drop in for a listen...

Originally Posted By: SpaceDog
Floyd,
Loved it. Great song.
SD

SD - appreciate that.

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Hi Floyd
Not around much at the moment - so much "stuff" going on here that my head is swimming.
However, every time I get 5 minutes and manage to drop by and listen, there you are with yet another Masterpiece.
Excellent lyrics - I love the concept of it - and another great tune to go with it. Neat chords from you, as always.
Totally stunning BT from BIAB, this system was just made for you. And that Yammy is sounding so crisp and beautifully resonant.
Awesome, my friend.
Cheers
ian


Last edited by sixchannel; 07/25/14 11:04 AM.

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Floyd,
This is a great piece. I Loved every aspect of it.
SD

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hi Floyd awesome love all your stuff great lyric thanks eric


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Hi Floyd,

that's another very nice country song!
We like the subtle arrangement change in the second verse, the professional use of pedal steel guitar and fiddle.
The acoustic guitar you played yourself sounds very clear through our speakers.
You definitely know how to use the TC Helicon to the max!

Regards,
R & AM


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Originally Posted By: Al-David
Hi Floy..

We started listing what we liked about this song. We quickly realized we were bankrupted the English language of its superlative adjectives. We think the last time you posted a less than stellar song ... Jesus was still a carpenter!

As everyone has already said ...everything about this is top shelf. And what a great lyrical concept! You never fail to amaze us in the most pleasant ways!

SPLENDID!!!

Alan & Di

Alan & Di - thanks, guys. I do appreciate such kind words.


Originally Posted By: sixchannel
Hi Floyd
Not around much at the moment - so much "stuff" going on here that my head is swimming.
However, every time I get 5 minutes and manage to drop by and listen, there you are with yet another Masterpiece.
Excellent lyrics - I love the concept of it - and another great tune to go with it. Neat chords from you, as always.
Totally stunning BT from BIAB, this system was just made for you. And that Yammy is sounding so crisp and beautifully resonant.
Awesome, my friend.
Cheers
ian

Ian - good to see you pop in for a listen! PGMusic has, in fact, given me exactly what I've wanted for most of my life... I'm in hog heaven...Thanks. My guitar thanks you, too... smile

RnAM #257538 07/26/14 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted By: SpaceDog
Floyd,
This is a great piece. I Loved every aspect of it.
SD

SD - thanks.... again.


Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
hi Floyd awesome love all your stuff great lyric thanks eric

Appreciate that, eric


Originally Posted By: R & AM
Hi Floyd,

that's another very nice country song!
We like the subtle arrangement change in the second verse, the professional use of pedal steel guitar and fiddle.
The acoustic guitar you played yourself sounds very clear through our speakers.
You definitely know how to use the TC Helicon to the max!

Regards,
R & AM


R & AM - thanks, guys... appreciate the listen.

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Hi Floyd,

Simple wonderful! We can think of nothing more say that's not already been said. Only that we're as impressed with your work on this one as we are on all your work. If it gets any better than this, it would musical magic. Damn near is already! Best to ya ...

Alan & Di


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Hi floyd!

As Inspector Gadget says, “Wowsers!” This is song-writing, -recording, -mixing, -producing, -performing at their stellar best. Every time I listen to a song from your catalogue, my eyes glaze over with awe – no joking!

I love the implicit pun that these lyrics are based around: 'shooting stars' (the word-pair describing the stars falling from the sky) and 'shooting stars' (the word-pair describing the act of aiming and firing at the twinkling lights). How cool is that! The inventiveness of your imagination always impresses. It doesn't stop there, though. You then take the concept of 'aiming and shooting at stars' and paint it with the colours of metaphor so that it embodies the notion of 'striving for success'.

The emotional development of these lyrics is perfect and, to my mind, is a great model for anyone wanting to get an added insight into how to develop lyrics. Verse 1 is grounded in the present and uses strong imagery to create a 'mini-movie' in the listener's mind. Verse 2 then moves to the past and offers an explanation as to why the song's character is 'watching the horizon'. The imagery within Verse 2 also continues to unroll as a 'mini-movie'. With the song's concept, and the lead character, firmly established in the listener's mind by verses 1 and 2, the first chorus then ties everything together by telling the listener about the motive behind the details established in the verses. Your beginning lyrical content wrapped in a verse-verse-chorus structure is what Pat Pattision would call a very effective use of “show and tell”.


Originally Posted By: Noel
In case you haven't read it, here's a link to a short article that explains what Pattison means by “show and tell” if you are interested in having a read.


Now comes Verse 3. To develop the lyrics further, you come back to the present and include personal detail (i.e. 'broken heart') about the song's lead character. You then add to this development by utilising concepts that are philosophical and metaphorical. One such lyric tool is to personify the character's 'broken heart' so that it becomes the driving force behind the lead character's actions.

The Bridge further develops the lyric's emotional ooomff by becoming intensely personal and we can feel the character's anguish.

In addition to the above, these lyrics caused me to reflect on how they are both simultaneously general and specific. The word “Awesome” springs to mind! It may be me, and because of the circumstances that have surrounded me in the last few months, but these lyrics could apply to a large number of different situations. Most people would probably hear the words as referring to a broken relationship. To my mind, the lyrical use of “baby” amplifies this concept. At one point, I found myself reading through and leaving out the instances of “baby”. Many possibilities unfolded. The lyrics could be about a close friend, lover or family member who is in a coma, who has died, who has dementia, who is lost, etc. I have to say that your ability to write lyrics that address the states of mind of so many individual listener's circumstances is incredibly impressive. A great deal of thought and planning has clearly gone into the crafting of these words.

I don't know how many times I've listened to “One More Star” but I'm now heading back for another one! It's great smile

All the best,
Noel


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Noel...

Thank you - a bunch - for your kind words... and that delightful review....

I sometimes wonder if the nuances in this song are caught by the typical listener (you, of course, are not the typical listener). You pretty much covered it. Warms my (broken) heart.

I'm glad that you were able to take the song past it's literal meaning to something more...

(I was surprised the you did not mention the alliteration in the broken heart line - I know you always like that aspect... smile )

I always so enjoy reading your thought on the writing aspect of a song. And the feelings it conveys. Especially enjoyed this one.

Thanks, again. I do appreciate it!

floyd

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I'm late to the party so everything that I would have said has already been said. All I can add is I wonder why you haven't been signed by a major recording company yet?


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Hi floyd,

Quote:
I was surprised the you did not mention the alliteration in the broken heart line - I know you always like that aspect... smile


It's true! The clever use of alliteration always makes me feel good inside! The broken heart line is one such line. When I first read through the lyrics, I smiled after reading that line. Then I became so focused on what I was writing that I forgot to comment about it! Must be old age settling in.

CORRECTION: In my previous post, I referred to a "Bridge". That was incorrect. It's a repetition of a section of the chorus. The effect of this repetition is that the lyrics' meaning is amplified and it acts to increase the angst.

All the best,
Noel

Last edited by Noel96; 08/01/14 11:10 PM.

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MarioD #258388 08/03/14 05:26 AM
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Originally Posted By: MarioD
I'm late to the party so everything that I would have said has already been said. All I can add is I wonder why you haven't been signed by a major recording company yet?

Mario - Thanks for saying that. There was a possibility...35 years ago smile ....


Noel - smile

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Originally Posted By: MarioD
All I can add is I wonder why you haven't been signed by a major recording company yet?

Mario - There was a possibility...35 years ago smile ....
Noel - smile


The World of Musics great loss!!
Ian


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