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.....to my American friends (especially if you're from Texas), but this tickled my funny bone.  A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydney's larger constructions. First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "What's that!" In reply the Australian said, "That's the Gladesville Bridge". "Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?" The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men." The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men." Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" was the reply. "Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?" The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men". The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men." By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbor Bridge came into view. Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?" The Australian Engineer replied, "Gee...I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
Cheers,
Keith
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OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Good ole good'un, when I first heard this one it involved a Texan and an Alaskan, both Civil Engineers.
The good ones always allow for a certain degree of ethnic/national interchangeability to suit the situation, it seems.
--Mac
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Very good and it's clean. We need more humor in the world.
Stan
Cornet Curmudgeon
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Quote:
Very good and it's clean. We need more humor in the world.
Stan
yeah, what stan said. and i have certainly teased the ozzies, canucks, and brits enough.
btw, how do i know when i'm out of invisible ink?
why do they sterilize the needle before giving a lethal injection?
why do they put braille bumps on drive-up atm machines? 
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Jimmie Dean told about when they made Alaska a state so Texas was no longer the largest. A Texan went to Alaska to go bear hunting with some friends but he became angry when they teased him that Alaska was now the biggest state. He got so mad he told them to stay in the cabin and he would get a grizzly bare handed. Soon they heard him yelling "Open that door, open that door". They opened the door to see him running with a large bear hot on his heels. At the last minute he turned aside but the bear ran in the door. He slammed the door and yelled "You skin him and clean him, I'm going back after another'n".
Howard
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 Love it. I used to tell this during gigs, but we're that darned politically correct nowadays you daren't tell any jokes.
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One of Minnie Pearl's favorite jokes was about a cousin little Nay Bob who was, let's just say a little slow. Well they were visiting a blacksmith shop one day and Nay Bob picked up a red-hot horseshoe and just as quickly threw it down to the ground! The blacksmith asked him, "it was hot wasn't it?" Little Nay Bob quickly replied, “no just don't take me long to look at a horseshoe”. RIMSHOT!
Later,
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All good! Gotta love 'em.
Gary
I'm blessed watching God do what He does best. I've had a few rough years, and I'm still not back to where I want to be, but I'm on the way and things are looking far better now than what they were!
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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XPro & Xtra Styles PAK Sets On Sale Now - Until May 15, 2026!
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Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Mac Videos
With the release of Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac, we’re rolling out a collection of brand-new videos on our YouTube channel. We’ll keep this forum post updated so you can easily find all the latest videos in one convenient spot.
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Holiday Weekend Hours
As we hop into the Easter weekend, here are our holiday hours:
April 3 (Good Friday): 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM PDT
April 4 (Saturday): Closed
April 5 (Easter Sunday): Closed
April 6 (Easter Monday): Open regular hours
Wishing you an egg-cellent weekend!
— Team PG
Update to Build 10 of RealBand® 2026 for Windows®!
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