|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208
Expert
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208 |
Hi All, I wrote this song for my Father (who passed away before I wrote it) who never knew I was into songwriting. This is my first attempt at writing a Country song so be gentle with me  I used RealBand (and boy that Realband is having FUN) Let me know what you think (I know the mix could be better but am interested what you think about the song) Here it is: Daddy Went Away Regards Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,122
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,122 |
George,
The song seems to have a lot of the elements of a country song, but the vox were not very clear, so it was hard to tell what was happening lyrically. Maybe you could post the lyrics so we can get a better idea of the mood of the song.
The title would indicate a sad song, or one of regret sorta like an old Hank williams song, but the beat and melody sound upbeat, so the listener may have trouble determining how to interpret the song.
Because it's such an upbeat tempo and flavor, it sounds very busy in the background.
hope this helps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208 |
Hi toucher, Here is the words to the song: Daddy Went Away Lyrics It was just a rough and ready test to see if I could do a country kind of song. My Dad just loved country and I thought it would be nice to send him a song.  Regards Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646 |
Nice job for a first song. The vocal has extreme amount of reverb to my ear. The guitar picking was nice. Remember in any song, with the exception of an instrumental piece the vocal is the main subject. Every word should be clear and precise. You are telling your story to the audience. I know that mixing the vocal in is hard because I am still learning everytime I do a new song, it seems each one presents its own set of rules. It seems for every step forward you take 2 back. But keep on singing and writing. You do have talent. Thanks for sharing! God bless! Listen To My MusicRead My BlogMy Web PageReverbnation
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 8,987
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 8,987 |
george,
i liked it but i agree that the tempo is too fast if you intended it to be a sad song. also, your vox sounds like you are out of your 'comfort zone' especially on the ending. you might want to take it down 2 semitones and get to your 'sweet spot.' i enjoyed the lyric and guitar break. more please.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,122
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,122 |
Hi George.......
The lyrics of your song seem to indicate that a son and father had an argument, and then the father died. The son is expressing his sense of regret that they fought. Is that about right?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208 |
Hi PgFantastic, Don Gaynor & toucher,
Thank you for you constructive comments.
I will take what you say onboard. The reason it is uptempo is that my Father just loved uptempo Country songs.
Yes my Father and I did have a fight. I wrote this song as a way to express my regret.
Regards
Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,427
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,427 |
It's a good start Michee, and the song and its sentiment are worth more work.
To do your song justice you need a better vocal with virtually no reverb (unlike the cavernous one you have at present) which would better convey the song's intimacy and personal nature. There are also some good tips above from the other guys, which will help you get where you want to be with this one.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,853
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,853 |
Not that I have any great expertise here, but I will offer a few comments.
First of all, definitely slow it down. At the current tempo, you just can't convey the sadness of departure. I would try initially changing to a slower tempo for the accompaniment and then re-recording the vocal at the slower tempo. I think the melody will stand at the slower tempo, but I would definitely give it a try.
Second, take another look at the lyrics. They seem strained in places (like you were just trying to make them rhyme, such as "Remember when we fought about not a great lot"). Also, I think you need to take another look at the 2nd verse to make sure that's what you want to say and how you want to say it. PM me if you want my original reaction to it.
Also, don't switch between second and third person ("you" versus "he/him"). That makes it sound like you could be talking about two different people. I think it would be more powerful if it comes across as you talking "TO" him, rather than thinking "ABOUT" him, since the song is about what you wanted to tell him, anyway.
I apologize if this came across as somewhat insensitive; if so, that was not my intent at all. I hope I'm only offering constructive criticism, so that when you finish your song, it is one that the listener can hear and understand the pain you've gone through.
John Laptop-HP Omen I7 Win11Pro 32GB 12TB SSD Desktop-ASUS-I7 Win10Pro 32GB 12TB SATA BB2026/UMC204HD&404HD/Casios/Cakewalk/Reaper/Studio One/Notion/Dorico/Noteworthy/NI/Halion/IK http://www.sus4chord.com (under rehosting/construction)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 8,021
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 8,021 |
Way too many lyrics. You've got to say it in 2 verses and a chorus. Find a good hook line.
Start from scratch with the music. 60 BPM
Leave LOTS of space in the music. Let Bass , Drums and acoustic guitar carry the rhythm. Alternate fills with Piano and Steel.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,926
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,926 |
I think it's a tremendous first effort.
Digital recording makes easy things that were difficult for experienced musicians not so long ago (and RB makes it so much fun), so it's easy to go overboard. One of the hardest things for any writer to learn is how to pare down--words, music, concepts. James Taylor is utterly brilliant at this. Songwriters in any genre would benefit from studying his lyrics. He does at least one straight-ahead country song every couple of albums. Along with the masters of country, give JT a listen.
Meanwhile, you alone know what you have to say. IMO, the act of creation is more important than your or anyone else's opinion of what is created (as long as it's done with integrity). Take quantitative criticism for what it's worth, but don't worry about whether anyone likes the thing. Just keep writing.
Thanks for sharing. That took courage. Hope we'll hear another one from you soon.
R.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,860
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,860 |
One of the most important elements of song writing is to follow the cadence or patern in the song with the words. One of the most glaring examples of this in country music was Tammy Wynette's "Stand by your man" In this song the words and melody are in almost perfect sync. Allowing the listener to almost instantly jump right in. If the words come to frequent and rapid for the melody notes, it gets cluttered. This was and is a challenge for me. I am slowly learning how to do this.
HP Win 11 12 gig ram, Mac mini Sonoma with 16 gig of ram, BiaB/RB 2026, Reaper 7, Harrison Mixbus 11 , Zoom Livetrack L-8
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208 |
Hi Skyline, jford, silvertones, Ryszard & Robh, Thank you all for your comments. Remember this was my first attempt at a country song, and I will take all that you have advised on board. I will attempt to re-write and hone (is that a word?) the song. It was just a quick no-brainer that took about 20 minutes to write, so not a lot of thought went into it. I just wrote what I felt.  I will re-post when I have given it more thought (hope that's within my lifetime ) Regards Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,726
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,726 |
Very good 1st attempt, you are on your way especially since you are taking into consideration the fine advise offered above. I am already looking forward to the next cut.
Later,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,860
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,860 |
Remember you have to be happy with it to, as it carries your emotions in it
HP Win 11 12 gig ram, Mac mini Sonoma with 16 gig of ram, BiaB/RB 2026, Reaper 7, Harrison Mixbus 11 , Zoom Livetrack L-8
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 177
Apprentice
|
|
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 177 |
You know what this reminds me of?
"Ashes of Love" - Up tempo sad songs are nothing new - "Oh Lonesome Me" by Don Gibson comes to mind right off.
This just needs a better vocal track and mix out about half the instrumentation. Tighten it up is all. Unless you were going for that live small club sound that sounds a bit busy.
As far as the writing goes - I like the repeats of Oh I'm on my own. Some of the rhymes are a 'little hard' night right - that sort.
For the first it's a jewel though. My first was "I Hate Vicki Welch's Guts and Want Her To Die."
Keep writing!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,208 |
Hi poppa willis, I hear what you are saying and thank you for taking the time to give advise. Quote:
For the first it's a jewel though. My first was "I Hate Vicki Welch's Guts and Want Her To Die."
Your comment above had me in stiches HaHa
Regards
Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,726
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,726 |
Quote:
For the first it's a jewel though. My first was "I Hate Vicki Welch's Guts and Want Her To Die."
Keep writing!
Hey wait a minute! I married Vickie Welch . . . . but I have to admit now I hate her guts too!
Later,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Introducing XPro Styles PAK 11 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2026 and Higher!
XPro Styles PAK 11 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box® version 2026 (and higher) is here with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 31 RealTracks/RealDrums!
Guess who’s back again? That’s right! It’s our XPro Styles PAK’s triumphant return with the 11th edition in this series! 100 new styles are coming your way spread across the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres. And this edition's wildcard genre explores the immense and far-reaching catalogue of electronic music! The included 31 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Special offers available until August 31st, 2026!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1-11 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 11 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2026 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 22 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2026 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 22 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2026 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
It’s time to celebrate! Xtra Styles PAK 22 for Band-in-a-Box® is here, and we've got 200 brand-new styles coming your way!
No Xtra Styles PAK is complete without the classic rock & pop, jazz, and country volumes you know and love, and we’ve got plenty to share, with 150 styles spread across too many genres to list! Of course, it also wouldn’t be complete with our special wildcard volume to add a little spice and pizzazz to the mix. This year, because we loved it so much the first time, we’ve decided to make the second iteration of our SynthMaster volume, full of new sounds, interesting genres, and 50 engaging styles, all making use of the diverse SynthMaster plugin! Here you can find genres such as airy yacht rock, sultry electrotango, and even some synth soca funk. Don’t wait, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 22 today!
In this PAK you can find: dulcet folk ballads, funky gospel country, Brazilian jazz fusion, upbeat 1980s pop, classic Americana, a plethora of breezy bossa novas, indie singer-songwriter, scintillating synthwave, exuberant electronica, and many, many more!
Special offers available until August 31st, 2026!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1-22 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 22 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 22.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 22 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 22 requires the 2026 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
Introducing XPro Styles PAK 11 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2026 and Higher!
XPro Styles PAK 11 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box® version 2026 (and higher) is here with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 31 RealTracks/RealDrums!
Guess who’s back again? That’s right! It’s our XPro Styles PAK’s triumphant return with the 11th edition in this series! 100 new styles are coming your way spread across the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres. And this edition's wildcard genre explores the immense and far-reaching catalogue of electronic music! The included 31 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Special offers available until August 31st, 2026!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1-11 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 11 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2026 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 22 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2026 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 22 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2026 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
It’s time to celebrate! Xtra Styles PAK 22 for Band-in-a-Box® is here, and we've got 200 brand-new styles coming your way!
No Xtra Styles PAK is complete without the classic rock & pop, jazz, and country volumes you know and love, and we’ve got plenty to share, with 150 styles spread across too many genres to list! Of course, it also wouldn’t be complete with our special wildcard volume to add a little spice and pizzazz to the mix. This year, because we loved it so much the first time, we’ve decided to make the second iteration of our SynthMaster volume, full of new sounds, interesting genres, and 50 engaging styles, all making use of the diverse SynthMaster plugin! Here you can find genres such as airy yacht rock, sultry electrotango, and even some synth soca funk. Don’t wait, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 22 today!
In this PAK you can find: dulcet folk ballads, funky gospel country, Brazilian jazz fusion, upbeat 1980s pop, classic Americana, a plethora of breezy bossa novas, indie singer-songwriter, scintillating synthwave, exuberant electronica, and many, many more!
Special offers available until August 31st, 2026!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1-22 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 22 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 22.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 22 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 22 requires the 2026 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
Peter Gannon Talks Band-in-a-Box with zplane
zplane recently interviewed Peter Gannon, the founder and creator of Band-in-a-Box, about the software's early days, what sets it apart from AI, how zplane's audio algorithms are used in Band-in-a-Box, and more!
Special thanks to the team at zplane for their continued support.
Check out the full interview here: https://products.zplane.de/blog/peter-gannon-interview-pg-music
Last Chance! The Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® Special Ends Today (May 31, 2026) at 11:59pm PDT!
Time really is running out! Save up to 50% on Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® upgrades and receive a FREE Bonus PAK—only when you order by 11:59 PM PDT today!
We've added many major new features and new content in a redesigned Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®!
Version 2026 introduces a modernized GUI redesign across the program, with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, and a new Dark Mode option. There’s also a new side toolbar for quicker access to commonly used windows, and the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, making it easier to customize your workspace.
Another exciting new addition is the amazing new AI-Notes feature, which can transcribe polyphonic audio into MIDI. View the results in notation or play them back as MIDI, and choose whether to transcribe an entire track or transcribe specific parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®.
There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, and much more!
Upgrade your Band-in-a-Box for Mac® to save up to 50% on most Band-in-a-Box® 2026 upgrade packages!
Plus, when you order your Band-in-a-Box® 2026 Mac upgrade during our special, you'll receive a Free Bonus PAK of exciting new add-ons.
If you need any help deciding which package is the best option for you, just let us know. We are here to help!
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 Mac Special Offers Extended Until May 31st!
Good news- we've extended our Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® special offers until May 31, 2026!
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 is packed with major new features, enhancements, and an incredible lineup of new content! The program now sports a sleek, modern GUI redesign across the entire interface, including updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, a new dark mode option, and more. The brand-new side toolbar provides quicker access to key windows, while the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, creating a flexible, clutter-free workspace. We have an amazing new “AI-Notes” feature. This transcribes polyphonic audio into MIDI so you can view it in notation or play it back as MIDI. You can transcribe an entire track (all pitched instruments and drums) or focus on individual parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, and much more!
There are over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®.
When you order purchase Band-in-a-Box® 2026 before 11:59 PM PDT on May 31st, you'll also receive a Free Bonus PAK packed with exciting new add-ons.
Check out the Band-in-a-Box® for Mac packages page to find the best package for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums57
Topics86,638
Posts807,822
Members40,179
| |
Most Online64,515
Apr 8th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean