You know what this reminds me of?

"Ashes of Love" - Up tempo sad songs are nothing new - "Oh Lonesome Me" by Don Gibson comes to mind right off.

This just needs a better vocal track and mix out about half the instrumentation. Tighten it up is all. Unless you were going for that live small club sound that sounds a bit busy.

As far as the writing goes - I like the repeats of Oh I'm on my own. Some of the rhymes are a 'little hard' night right - that sort.

For the first it's a jewel though. My first was "I Hate Vicki Welch's Guts and Want Her To Die."

Keep writing!