Here is another Christmas song I'd like to share ... A story about the year when there was no Christmas... Its different from my usual country songs... And I hope you enjoy it. ______________________
Well there won't be no Christmas this year No there won't be no Christmas this year Santa got mugged by the LA cops Twenty of them really roughed him up So there won't be no Christmas this year
He was stopped somewhere they say in East LA Both tail lights were out on his sleigh They say his horses were so dead stoned It must have been the junk that he kept them on They had mutated ears and they thought they could fly away
Well I saw the tape some one made of the incident But unnecessary force wasn't evident When he was brought down by the one who made the stop He moved his head so they wised him up Until he resisted no more on the cold cement
So there won't be no Christmas this year No there won't be no Christmas this year Santa and his gang are now in jail Since they ain't crooked no one pays their bail And there won't be no Christmas this year ______________________ Tech Info: NoCmas.MGU BLANK2.STY Only bass & some drums remain... The rest was scored with Music Printer Plus (Temporal Acuity Products) _______________________
Dystopian Christmas - sounds like an Australian Mob - The Beasts of Bourbon. Very good fun and lots going on. My hearing suggests there's more treble happening on the left. Your vocals are the stand out feature - cooool.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
That was really something completely different Not just from you but on the forum. Really made me smile, good to have some humorous Christmas tune for a while. Enjoyable heavy rock instrumentation and your vocal fits like beard on Santa. Thanks Jim for your Holiday surprise!
Jim, Thank you for surprising me with that Christmas gut punch!! Really good/bad attitude comes through on the vocals and the lyrics are the best darkly funny Christmas song I`ve heard in a long time. Way to go for letting us hear this side of your music.
I don't know where to begin, because everything about this song is so incredibly good.
I'm not that much into Christmas songs, I must admit, but I must agree with Floyd: I'd really like to hear more of that style !
What an intro - I simply wouldn't trust my ears and had to make sure I had not accidentally clicked another song - BRILLIANT !
The lyrics are amazing - yes, funny at first sight, even very funny. But I'm more than sure that this is a bitter parabel on incidents that sadly enough happen to be real. And if that is so, I think there's far mor Christian expressiveness in your lines than in most of those Christmas tunes that are tootling in the malls this time of the year.
And BTW, it is exactly the way I love serious issues to be approached - it's 'Hats off' simply for those lyrics.
Your Vocal is just perfect for that song, the arrangement si stunning !
Jim, old cowboy that I thought you were: If I may utter a request: Please write and perform more, many more songs of that genre - you're simply too good in that to deny us the fruits of that talent.
You see: I'm stunned, excited and mostz impressed by this one.
Thanks for posting that gem. Oh yes: I really enjoud that really corresponding vide - nice job on this one, too!
Take care,
Stefan
PS: Of course I couldn't help remebering one of my favorite Arlo Guthrie tunes which was very funny, too, but also transported a cause:
TuneMonger LMAO, funniest thing I've heard in a long time!! Great work, this should be in rotation on any radio station that plays all-Christmas. Way to go!
Thanks Bob Where can we find that station ? Still your comments & support are always appreciated.
rayc Dystopian Christmas - sounds like an Australian Mob - The Beasts of Bourbon. Very good fun and lots going on. My hearing suggests there's more treble happening on the left. Your vocals are the stand out feature - cooool.
Thanks Ray Dystopian Christmas … A good song title… But I think its been done…
I checked out The Beasts of Bourbon… Pretty cool… Maybe someday I’ll steal from them …
Thanks again… Your comments & support are always appreciated.
BTW… About the treble... You may be correct... I can’t hear out of my right ear right now… Everything seems to be mono in my left ear .
This is the surprise packet of the season - Big Bad Jim getting down and dirty, turning Christmas music on its head. Jim, this is inspired. Your voice, the riff, the sound and arrangement just work together to make a great song. Loved the vid too. Thanks for sharing this and brightening our Christmas. Scary Christmas , Mike
Jim, this is awesome!!! I was expecting something different for sure coming from you...perhaps something with a country flavor! If this a had a couple of distorted guitars in it, it would be an Alice Cooper tune...yes you heard right Alice Cooper!! That is a compliment btw! It's strangely beautiful and something that just leads you on...hard to turn away from! Thoroughly enjoyed by me...great to hear something in a different genre from you! Thanks, Torrey
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Introducing XPro Styles PAK 11 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2026 and Higher!
XPro Styles PAK 11 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box® version 2026 (and higher) is here with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 31 RealTracks/RealDrums!
Guess who’s back again? That’s right! It’s our XPro Styles PAK’s triumphant return with the 11th edition in this series! 100 new styles are coming your way spread across the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres. And this edition's wildcard genre explores the immense and far-reaching catalogue of electronic music! The included 31 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Special offers available until August 31st, 2026!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1-11 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2026 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 22 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2026 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 22 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2026 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
It’s time to celebrate! Xtra Styles PAK 22 for Band-in-a-Box® is here, and we've got 200 brand-new styles coming your way!
No Xtra Styles PAK is complete without the classic rock & pop, jazz, and country volumes you know and love, and we’ve got plenty to share, with 150 styles spread across too many genres to list! Of course, it also wouldn’t be complete with our special wildcard volume to add a little spice and pizzazz to the mix. This year, because we loved it so much the first time, we’ve decided to make the second iteration of our SynthMaster volume, full of new sounds, interesting genres, and 50 engaging styles, all making use of the diverse SynthMaster plugin! Here you can find genres such as airy yacht rock, sultry electrotango, and even some synth soca funk. Don’t wait, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 22 today!
In this PAK you can find: dulcet folk ballads, funky gospel country, Brazilian jazz fusion, upbeat 1980s pop, classic Americana, a plethora of breezy bossa novas, indie singer-songwriter, scintillating synthwave, exuberant electronica, and many, many more!
Special offers available until August 31st, 2026!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1-22 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 22 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 22 requires the 2026 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
zplane recently interviewed Peter Gannon, the founder and creator of Band-in-a-Box, about the software's early days, what sets it apart from AI, how zplane's audio algorithms are used in Band-in-a-Box, and more!
Special thanks to the team at zplane for their continued support.
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Not just from you but on the forum. Really made me smile, good to have some humorous Christmas tune for a while. Enjoyable heavy rock instrumentation and your vocal fits like beard on Santa. Thanks Jim for your Holiday surprise!
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