Robert,
Very magnetic lyrics. You are one of the top current poets I have the honor of knowing. Sorry, I can not pinpoint "oldster mistake", I tried. My frail excuse is ESL, no rebates. I like the arrangement and acoustic feel of it. I do feel that horns are a bit intrusive. Not by themselves, but specifically on this composition. If you care for opinion, I think softly played flute(s) would be a gentler choice. Enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing!

Misha.