Danny O'Day took my girl away
He could produce wood on demand and I couldn't
Danny O'Day could perform in every way
I asked my girl to hold me like that but she wouldn't

Local talent contest my band would win, there was no doubt
We left them begging for more with our cover of "Twist & Shout"
Then my girlfriend took the stage a wooden dummy on her lap
I had to stifle my laughter and stay until the end and clap.

Imagine my surprise when my girl took home first prize
And gave all the credit to her new companion
From that moment on I would swear she was full of lies
She said it was her new partner who was the real champion
Night after night she devoted to polishing his wood
She claimed by doing that he began to grow
They started sleeping together because it felt so good
She would come to school with her face all aglow

Danny O'Day that dummy took my girl away
He could produce wood on demand and I couldn't (though I tried)
Danny O'Day performed in every way
I told my girl to treat me like that but she wouldn't
I said, "Your acting like that makes you look like a fool.
You can't come to class with your hair full of wood chips
Or carry in your purse what looks like a wood-working tool
And you're embarrassing yourself with wood polish on your lips."

But Danny O'Day took my girl away
He could provide wood on demand and I couldn't.
I finally had enough of those lonely sleepless nights
And hoped my girl would recover from a case of termites
So Danny O’day began rotting away
I know I did wrong and I shouldn’t.