1) One day a man arrived home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up" she purred, "and you can do anything you want". So he tied her up and went gofing.

2) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other person is the husband.

3) A woman came home, screeching her car into the garage and ran into the house. She shouted on the top of her lungs "Honey, I won the lottery, pack your bags.I won the lottery". The husband said "Oh my god, what should I pack, where are we going? Mountain or Beach, cold or warm?". "Doesnt matter", she said, "Just get out"


Cheers,
Keith