Some old USAF crew metaphors comin' atcha:

*Colder than my ex-wife's heart.

*So cold I found a little transluent bronze ball inside my shorts, but when I went to show it to others, it warmed up and there was a "SPROONT" sound followed by a disagreeable odor - and the little bronze ball disappeared.

*Colder than the commander's heart.

*So cold that the penguins came knockin'...

*Cold enough to turn the beer to whiskey. (This one is actually true, Thule, Greenland, you could set the beer outside the door and in a few minutes pour off just the alcohol as the water conent had frozen solid. Cheap buzz.)

Those are the only ones that might make it in mixed company...


--Mac